In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of thease problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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In recent times, there has been a significant increase in the number of

people

Use synonyms

who are dealing with obesity.

This

Linking Words

means fewer individuals have healthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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. There are some reasons for

this

Linking Words

however

Linking Words

, some solutions are entailed as well. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explore the causes and the ways to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue. One of the major reasons is the exorbitant price of sports

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

, which makes places

such

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GYM

Fix the agreement mistake

gyms

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super expensive.

This

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means fewer

people

Use synonyms

tend to do exercises, and more

people

Use synonyms

would become less encouraged.

As a result

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, individuals would lose their interest in making their body fit. The solution for the government is to raise sports amenities as much as possible, which enables poor humans to get fit.

For instance

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, most of the developed countries have equipment in their parks, which is free. Another main cause of

this

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can be junk foods and prepared foods. Yet, they contain a lot of sugar, salt, and oil, which contributes humans to being

over-weighted

Correct your spelling

overweight

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Moreover

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, these kinds of food are really cheap and available everywhere.

For example

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, in the US, if you want to buy fast food,

such

Linking Words

as pizza or sandwiches, it costs about $20.

As a consequence

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, more and more individuals would eat them. To tackle

this

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problem, the government should increase the taxes on these things, in order to decrease

this

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disease. In conclusion, many

people

Use synonyms

are overweight these days, because of some reasons.

However

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, there are some ways to prevent

this

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from happening like raising taxes on junk food

Remove the comma

apply

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and adding more sports amenities. In my view, humans play important roles in

this

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, and they should follow a healthy lifestyle.

Ah.mahdavi1365Sun Feb 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that your ideas are well-organized and that you have clear paragraphs for each point you introduce. Additionally, logical transitions between paragraphs can enhance the reader's understanding of the essay structure.

task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly addresses the question and outlines the causes and solutions you will discuss. It would also benefit from improved clarity and more specific language.

task achievement

Provide clear examples that directly relate to the causes and solutions you are discussing. They should be relevant and support your main points effectively. Integrating more data or real-life examples could make your argumentation stronger.

coherence cohesion

In your conclusion, strive to summarize the main points of your essay without introducing new information. Reinforce your arguments briefly and clearly, and make sure your opinion is stated if the question asks for it.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of thease problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ome parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion