In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of thease problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In recent times, there has been a significant increase in the number of
people
who are dealing with obesity. Use synonyms
This
means fewer individuals have healthy Linking Words
lifestyle
. There are some reasons for Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
this
, Linking Words
however
, some solutions are entailed as well. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will explore the causes and the ways to tackle Linking Words
this
issue.
One of the major reasons is the exorbitant price of sports Linking Words
equipments
, which makes places Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
such
as Linking Words
GYM
super expensive. Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
This
means fewer Linking Words
people
tend to do exercises, and more Use synonyms
people
would become less encouraged. Use synonyms
As a result
, individuals would lose their interest in making their body fit. The solution for the government is to raise sports amenities as much as possible, which enables poor humans to get fit. Linking Words
For instance
, most of the developed countries have equipment in their parks, which is free.
Another main cause of Linking Words
this
can be junk foods and prepared foods. Yet, they contain a lot of sugar, salt, and oil, which contributes humans to being Linking Words
over-weighted
. Correct your spelling
overweight
Moreover
, these kinds of food are really cheap and available everywhere. Linking Words
For example
, in the US, if you want to buy fast food, Linking Words
such
as pizza or sandwiches, it costs about $20. Linking Words
As a consequence
, more and more individuals would eat them. To tackle Linking Words
this
problem, the government should increase the taxes on these things, in order to decrease Linking Words
this
disease.
In conclusion, many Linking Words
people
are overweight these days, because of some reasons. Use synonyms
However
, there are some ways to prevent Linking Words
this
from happening like raising taxes on junk foodLinking Words
,
and adding more sports amenities. In my view, humans play important roles in Remove the comma
apply
this
, and they should follow a healthy lifestyle.Linking Words
Submitted by Ah.mahdavi1365 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that your ideas are well-organized and that you have clear paragraphs for each point you introduce. Additionally, logical transitions between paragraphs can enhance the reader's understanding of the essay structure.
task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly addresses the question and outlines the causes and solutions you will discuss. It would also benefit from improved clarity and more specific language.
task achievement
Provide clear examples that directly relate to the causes and solutions you are discussing. They should be relevant and support your main points effectively. Integrating more data or real-life examples could make your argumentation stronger.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, strive to summarize the main points of your essay without introducing new information. Reinforce your arguments briefly and clearly, and make sure your opinion is stated if the question asks for it.