In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of thease problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In recent times, there has been a significant increase in the number of
people
who are dealing with obesity.
This
means fewer individuals have healthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. There are some reasons for
this
,
however
, some solutions are entailed as well. In
this
essay, I will explore the causes and the ways to tackle
this
issue. One of the major reasons is the exorbitant price of sports
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, which makes places
such
as
GYM
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gyms
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super expensive.
This
means fewer
people
tend to do exercises, and more
people
would become less encouraged.
As a result
, individuals would lose their interest in making their body fit. The solution for the government is to raise sports amenities as much as possible, which enables poor humans to get fit.
For instance
, most of the developed countries have equipment in their parks, which is free. Another main cause of
this
can be junk foods and prepared foods. Yet, they contain a lot of sugar, salt, and oil, which contributes humans to being
over-weighted
Correct your spelling
overweight
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.
Moreover
, these kinds of food are really cheap and available everywhere.
For example
, in the US, if you want to buy fast food,
such
as pizza or sandwiches, it costs about $20.
As a consequence
, more and more individuals would eat them. To tackle
this
problem, the government should increase the taxes on these things, in order to decrease
this
disease. In conclusion, many
people
are overweight these days, because of some reasons.
However
, there are some ways to prevent
this
from happening like raising taxes on junk food
,
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apply
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and adding more sports amenities. In my view, humans play important roles in
this
, and they should follow a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by Ah.mahdavi1365 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that your ideas are well-organized and that you have clear paragraphs for each point you introduce. Additionally, logical transitions between paragraphs can enhance the reader's understanding of the essay structure.
task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly addresses the question and outlines the causes and solutions you will discuss. It would also benefit from improved clarity and more specific language.
task achievement
Provide clear examples that directly relate to the causes and solutions you are discussing. They should be relevant and support your main points effectively. Integrating more data or real-life examples could make your argumentation stronger.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, strive to summarize the main points of your essay without introducing new information. Reinforce your arguments briefly and clearly, and make sure your opinion is stated if the question asks for it.

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