It is important for the people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is crucial for people to take risks in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. In my opinion, being
risk-taker
Correct article usage
a risk-taker
show examples
might be good and have several advantages,
however
,
this
case might have some drawbacks as well. Being
risk-taker
Correct article usage
a risk-taker
show examples
in some parts of your life could be beneficial. If you take risks, you will get some
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
as well. Try new foods and outfits can change the way you eat or wear.
Furthermore
,
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
several fields of
studying
Replace the word
study
show examples
might give people more
viewpoint
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoints
show examples
about what they will study in the future.
For instance
, I studied medicine for two years straight and had no idea how much passion and interest I had for math.
Hence
, I took a
risk
and started studying for next year’s math entrance exam. Now, I am studying computer science
duo
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
to the
risk
I took one year ago. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned, being
risk-taker
Correct article usage
a risk-taker
show examples
could be harmful too. There are some risks in today’s world
which are
Verb problem
that
show examples
existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
to tempt you to take them and damage your life,
money
and family. One of them is gambling, put your
money
in some easy and simple games and expect that your
money
will
doubled
Change the verb form
be doubled
double
show examples
or increase significantly. Bet sites and casinos are there to tempt you to take a
risk
and get rid of your
money
.
However
, unfortunately, numerous people
cheated
Wrong verb form
cheat
show examples
to take a
risk
and they lose large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of
money
.
Overall
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned,
although
being
risk-taker
Correct article usage
a risk-taker
show examples
might be beneficial and if you take a
risk
in the right way you will gain some experiences and achievements, it has some disadvantages as well.
Submitted by amirkasrajahanmiri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, which is good for addressing the prompt. To improve your Task Achievement score, try to present your points with more elaboration and depth, providing a thorough explanation of how the advantages can outweigh the disadvantages, or vice versa, depending on your stance. Make sure to respond directly to the question by clearly stating if the advantages do or do not outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a fundamental structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is positive. However, to enhance the Coherence and Cohesion of your essay, focus on creating stronger topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph more clearly, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences. Moreover, aim to create a more logical progression of ideas throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: