IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Urbanization
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 common phenomenon which occurs
due to
Linking Words
 job availability constraints in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pastoral areas, thereby, the countryside's population
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time. In my opinion, it
lefts
Correct your spelling
left
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 a negative implication to rural
development
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, in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of the
economical
Replace the word
economic
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disparity
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 and the infrastructure
development
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. In the beginning, the
urbanization
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 has several positive impacts.
First,
Linking Words
the economic
disparity
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 may diminish by the better chances of getting a job for
countryside's
Correct article usage
the countryside's
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people
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. Jobs are underlying factors by which
people
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 are able to obtain some
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 advantages,
such
Linking Words
 as income, health insurance, and loan opportunity.
Second,
Linking Words
the infrastructure
centralizations
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centralization
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are being
Wrong verb form
is
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 more effective than the practice of decentralization.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 can make
an
Correct article usage
apply
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efficiency
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efficient
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation and
logistic
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logistics
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, thereby, the cost of
development
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 is considered
low
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lower
show examples
 than the counterpart. But, there are several negative impacts which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more deleterious than the positive ones.
First,
Linking Words
the
disparity
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 may
obsolete
Add a missing verb
be obsolete
show examples
, yet, the
competitions
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 are likely
surged
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to surge
show examples
. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
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, it can emerge
an
Change preposition
as an
show examples
 unhealthy act to winning a race,
such
Linking Words
 as nepotism and corruption practices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the balkanization may become possible to happen,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 issues an elite group and low class.
Correct pronoun usage
Can
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It can
Correct pronoun usage
Can
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emerge
Verb problem
apply
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severe impoverishment in
Correct article usage
the city
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city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
Change preposition
of
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
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competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 that
occurs
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
 during the segregation
process
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
the effectiveness
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 centralization
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
justice
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who live outside the urban area.
Thus
Linking Words
, there is a possibility
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 upheaval may
occurs
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occur
show examples
 owing to the aggregation
process
Use synonyms
.
People
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 are willing to get fair
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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, not only the economic
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
. In conclusion, the impending problems may become greater
as a result
Linking Words
 of the
urbanization
Use synonyms
process
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
urbanization
Correct article usage
the urbanization
show examples
process
Use synonyms
 may abolish the
disparity
Use synonyms
 in
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 aspects and effectiveness on
development
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the negative effects cannot be compensated by these positive influences,
such
Linking Words
potential
Change preposition
as potential
show examples
competitions
Use synonyms
 that
drives
Change the verb form
drive
show examples
 the
competitions
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader. Avoid ambiguous expressions and clearly state if the development is positive or negative from the outset.
task achievement
Improve the development of ideas by expanding on points with more detailed examples. Avoid vague statements and aim to include specific, real-world examples that support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of the essay by organizing ideas more effectively. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to clearly delineate different points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is not just a collection of somewhat related sentences. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Improve your conclusion by summarizing your main points more clearly and linking them back to your thesis statement. Avoid introducing new information in the conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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