In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Urbanization
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is
the
Correct article usage
a
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common phenomenon which occurs
due to
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job availability constraints in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pastoral areas, thereby, the countryside's population
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreases
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over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time. In my opinion, it
lefts
Correct your spelling
left
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a negative implication to rural
development
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, in
term
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terms
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of the
economical
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economic
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disparity
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and the infrastructure
development
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. In the beginning, the
urbanization
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has several positive impacts.
First,
Linking Words
the economic
disparity
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may diminish by the better chances of getting a job for
countryside's
Correct article usage
the countryside's
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people
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. Jobs are underlying factors by which
people
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are able to obtain some
economical
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economic
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advantages,
such
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as income, health insurance, and loan opportunity.
Second,
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the infrastructure
centralizations
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centralization
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are being
Wrong verb form
is
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more effective than the practice of decentralization.
Government
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The government
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can make
an
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apply
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efficiency
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efficient
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on
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation and
logistic
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logistics
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, thereby, the cost of
development
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is considered
low
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lower
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than the counterpart. But, there are several negative impacts which
is
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are
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more deleterious than the positive ones.
First,
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the
disparity
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may
obsolete
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be obsolete
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, yet, the
competitions
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are likely
surged
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to surge
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. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
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, it can emerge
an
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as an
show examples
unhealthy act to winning a race,
such
Linking Words
as nepotism and corruption practices.
Moreover
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, the balkanization may become possible to happen,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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issues an elite group and low class.
Correct pronoun usage
Can
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It can
Correct pronoun usage
Can
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emerge
Verb problem
apply
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severe impoverishment in
Correct article usage
the city
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city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
Change preposition
of
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by
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of
show examples
the
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
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competitions
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competition
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that
occurs
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occur
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during the segregation
process
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.
Second,
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the effectiveness
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
centralization
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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justice
to
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for
show examples
people
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who live outside the urban area.
Thus
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, there is a possibility
which
Correct word choice
that
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upheaval may
occurs
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occur
show examples
owing to the aggregation
process
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.
People
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are willing to get fair
developments
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development
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, not only the economic
developments
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development
show examples
. In conclusion, the impending problems may become greater
as a result
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of the
urbanization
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process
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.
To sum up
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,
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urbanization
Correct article usage
the urbanization
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process
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may abolish the
disparity
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in
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
aspects and effectiveness on
development
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.
However
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, the negative effects cannot be compensated by these positive influences,
such
Linking Words
potential
Change preposition
as potential
show examples
competitions
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that
drives
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drive
show examples
the
competitions
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader. Avoid ambiguous expressions and clearly state if the development is positive or negative from the outset.
task achievement
Improve the development of ideas by expanding on points with more detailed examples. Avoid vague statements and aim to include specific, real-world examples that support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of the essay by organizing ideas more effectively. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to clearly delineate different points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is not just a collection of somewhat related sentences. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Improve your conclusion by summarizing your main points more clearly and linking them back to your thesis statement. Avoid introducing new information in the conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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