In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Urbanization
is the
common phenomenon which occurs Correct article usage
a
due to
job availability constraints in the
pastoral areas, thereby, the countryside's population Correct article usage
apply
decreased
over Wrong verb form
decreases
the
time. In my opinion, it Correct article usage
apply
lefts
a negative implication to rural Correct your spelling
left
development
, in term
of the Fix the agreement mistake
terms
economical
Replace the word
economic
disparity
and the infrastructure development
.
In the beginning, the urbanization
has several positive impacts. First,
the economic disparity
may diminish by the better chances of getting a job for countryside's
Correct article usage
the countryside's
people
. Jobs are underlying factors by which people
are able to obtain some economical
advantages, Replace the word
economic
such
as income, health insurance, and loan opportunity. Second,
the infrastructure centralizations
Fix the agreement mistake
centralization
are being
more effective than the practice of decentralization. Wrong verb form
is
Government
can make Correct article usage
The government
an
Correct article usage
apply
efficiency
Replace the word
efficient
on
Change preposition
apply
the
transportation and Correct article usage
apply
logistic
, thereby, the cost of Fix the agreement mistake
logistics
development
is considered low
than the counterpart.
But, there are several negative impacts which Replace the word
lower
is
more deleterious than the positive ones. Change the verb form
are
First,
the disparity
may obsolete
, yet, the Add a missing verb
be obsolete
competitions
are likely surged
. As Change the verb form
to surge
result
, it can emerge Correct article usage
a result
an
unhealthy act to winning a race, Change preposition
as an
such
as nepotism and corruption practices. Moreover
, the balkanization may become possible to happen, that
issues an elite group and low class. Correct pronoun usage
which
Correct pronoun usage
Can
It can
Correct pronoun usage
Can
emerge
severe impoverishment in Verb problem
apply
Correct article usage
the city
city
Correct article usage
the city
Change preposition
of
by
the Change preposition
of
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
competitions
that Fix the agreement mistake
competition
occurs
during the segregation Change the verb form
occur
process
. Second,
the effectiveness from
centralization Change preposition
of
are
not Change the verb form
is
be
followed by Unnecessary verb
apply
the
justice Correct article usage
apply
to
Change preposition
for
people
who live outside the urban area. Thus
, there is a possibility which
upheaval may Correct word choice
that
occurs
owing to the aggregation Change the verb form
occur
process
. People
are willing to get fair developments
, not only the economic Fix the agreement mistake
development
developments
. In conclusion, the impending problems may become greater Fix the agreement mistake
development
as a result
of the urbanization
process
.
To sum up
, urbanization
Correct article usage
the urbanization
process
may abolish the disparity
in economical
aspects and effectiveness on Replace the word
economic
development
. However
, the negative effects cannot be compensated by these positive influences, such
potential
Change preposition
as potential
competitions
that drives
the Change the verb form
drive
competitions
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader. Avoid ambiguous expressions and clearly state if the development is positive or negative from the outset.
task achievement
Improve the development of ideas by expanding on points with more detailed examples. Avoid vague statements and aim to include specific, real-world examples that support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of the essay by organizing ideas more effectively. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to clearly delineate different points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is not just a collection of somewhat related sentences. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Improve your conclusion by summarizing your main points more clearly and linking them back to your thesis statement. Avoid introducing new information in the conclusion.