Some companies sponsor sports and sports stars as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#companies #sponsor #sports #stars #people

A majority of giant

companies

prefer to

adverstise

Correct your spelling

advertise

themselves by sponsoring prevalent

sports

teams

and athletes. Whilst, certain individuals content the notion that

such

investments are beneficial

interms

Correct your spelling

in terms

of fame and popularity, others have a contradictory opinion in which these sponsorships are considered detrimental. It is my contention that the benefit of an advertisement to the audience largely hinges on the promoting company and the product it advertises. First and foremost, advertisement is a massive business market

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

sports

events,

companies

continuously

giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

sponsorships to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

successful athletes and

teams

in order to market their products

with

Change preposition

show examples

a whim to boost sales. Regardless of the business area, all

companies

ranging from energy drinks to airlines are generously financing players and

teams

. To cite an example, Redbull is an energy drink company and they pay huge amounts of sponsorship money to several athletes to just wear their logo and promote their drinks.

Consequently

, Redbull has accomplished

reaminig

Correct your spelling

remaining

at the top of the most sold energy drink for 2 consecutive decades.

Moreover

, many big airline

companies

are now competing

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other to make sure that football

teams

like Barcelona, Real Madrid and Manchester City carry their name during the playoff games to convince fans to fly with

favourite

Correct pronoun usage

their favourite

show examples

airlines.

On the other hand

, when the promoted products are hazardous to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human health,

this

opportunity can be undermined and even morph into a disadvantage. To illustrate, some sponsorship offers coming from alcohol

brand

Fix the agreement mistake

brands

show examples

can give a bad image to

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and

individuals promoter

Fix the agreement mistake

individual promoters

show examples

, since these two different values contradict each other. Unfortunately, commercialism in

sports

has now

compelling

Wrong verb form

compelled

show examples

regulators or even big players to turn a blind eye

Change preposition

show examples

an unhealthy product

that is

being advertised to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumers.

For instance

, a martial art artist Conor McGregor has received a plethra of

crticism

Correct your spelling

criticism

over promoting a whiskey brand during his first UFC debut, raising concerns about

viewership

Correct article usage

the viewership

show examples

age of

this

show. In conclusion, despite these sponsors

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

a critical role

to keep

Change preposition

in keeping

show examples

sports

events as big as today, some products should not be promoted as they are considered perilous to the consumers.

Submitted by orkhanshamil on Sun Feb 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and concise introduction that outlines the key points to be discussed. Avoid unnecessary complexity in sentence structures to improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea supported by relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on a clear development of ideas throughout the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that both views and your own opinion are clearly and explicitly stated and well-supported throughout.

task achievement

Expand on your own opinion to include more detailed reasoning and specific examples that truly illustrate your viewpoint.

task achievement

Work on the accuracy and range of your vocabulary and grammar. This will help to express ideas more effectively and enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some companies sponsor sports and sports stars as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some international companies are very powerful now and many people believe that it is a negative development. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your reasons and relevant examples.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?