Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society

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I think shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity.

For example

The Tree Plan Shopping

Center

Correct your spelling

show examples

Change the article

the

show examples

biggest shopping

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

in Adelaide. I'm working

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

take way

Correct your spelling

takeway

shop in the T.T.P. Shopping

center

. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

huge

Change the article

a huge

the huge

show examples

number of

coutner

Correct your spelling

counter

working around in the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

every day. Many

people

buy lots of

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

, drinks,

Correct word choice

and

show examples

clothes and They are

hand carry

Correct your spelling

hand-carried

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

put in the trolly.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

some

peple

Correct your spelling

people

me only window shopping. I

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

worry about

people

who

bought

Wrong verb form

buy

show examples

many things into trolly, because I think

may be

Correct your spelling

maybe

show examples

they

are use

Change the verb form

are used

are using

show examples

anoney

Correct your spelling

money

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

, and

also

some ladies who wear a looks expensive

juellies

Correct your spelling

jellies

jollies

. I have one friend who

bankenrupt his self

Correct your spelling

bankrupted himself

, because he had

Change the article

show examples

expensive can,

Change the article

show examples

expensive cloth. etc. I think

bad

Add an article

the bad

show examples

effect is many loan

company

Change to a plural noun

companies

show examples

estblished

Correct your spelling

established

Change preposition

in those

show examples

those year

Change the determiner

that year

those years

show examples

People

are easy to borrow money

trough

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

loan

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

and easy to go to

bankalpt

Correct your spelling

bankrupt

People

must

concider

Correct your spelling

consider

about when they go

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping.

Therefore

before

buy

Change the verb form

buying

show examples

something

people

proust

Correct your spelling

first

consider

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping

such

as for yourself.

Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on Sun Feb 11 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider carefully planning your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to improve logical structure and cohesion.

Task Achievement

Try to elaborate on your main points with more specific examples and detailed arguments to strengthen task response and coherence.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the task clearly and completely, integrating the reasons for shopping's popularity alongside the effects on individuals and society.

General Language Use

Work on improving grammar, punctuation, and spelling to ensure clarity and coherence in communication.

Task Achievement

You have successfully identified some reasons why shopping is popular and mentioned both positive and negative effects.

Task Achievement

There is a good use of personal experience, which makes your points relatable and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

178 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activity
consumer culture
emotional satisfaction
consumerism
advertising influence
online shopping platforms
sense of pleasure
social interaction
boost the economy
compulsive shopping
materialism
environmental degradation
unsustainable demand
social inequalities
status through possessions

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Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

Fully explain your ideas

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than small shops or local markets. Is this positive or negative development? Discuss and give your opinion.

Some people believe that handwriting is no longer useful in the modern world and should not be taught in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?