Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is irrefutable that popular
individuls
can help to address the social issues nationally and internationally. Correct your spelling
individuals
one
school of thought believe that Capitalize word
One
celebrities
should come forward to assist the decline of social problems
such
as povery
, Correct your spelling
poverty
umemployment
and crime Correct your spelling
unemployment
whereas
others have the opnion
that famous Correct your spelling
opinion
option
people
make these problems
ignoreable. I believe that celebrities
can help to decrease these issues to some extent.
Firstly
, famous personalities such
as film stars, sports
Correct your spelling
sportspeople
people
as well as
politician
are renowned internationally. Fix the agreement mistake
politicians
A lots
of Correct the article-noun agreement
A lot
Lots
individulas
consider them as role models and they follow them whatever they are doing Correct your spelling
individuals
whethere
socialistic or entraining purpose. Correct your spelling
whether
As a
result
they can encourage youngsters to do Add a comma
result,
the
volunteer work to help the organizations that are already doing things to resolve the Correct article usage
apply
problems
related to the entire world. Additionally
, with the involvement of celebrities
in the recognition of problems
like poverty, unemloyment
, Correct your spelling
unemployment
environmental
, and Replace the word
environment
ilitereacy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
literacy
etcetcra
Correct your spelling
etcetera
law makers
will actively take steps to eliminate these hurdles and Correct your spelling
lawmakers
polpulation
will become more aware Correct your spelling
population
about
these issues.
Change the preposition
of
On the other hand
, some intellectuals have the opinion that participation
of Correct article usage
the participation
celebrities
in the
non-governmental international organizations will reduce the Correct article usage
apply
significant
of these Replace the word
significance
problems
and decline their deduction. it is well documented that popular people
not only do the work for the money but also
do the fake publicity. They charge a lot of money to support these organizations which in turn beome
a loss rather than a profit. Correct your spelling
become
Moreover
, there are perceptions that people
do not believe that celebrities
do some work for the social welfare they consider it as a publicity stunt.
In conclusion, it can be analysed that famous people
can become the respresentative
Correct your spelling
representative
for
a nation Change preposition
of
to forward
Change preposition
by forwarding
the
Change the word
their
problems
towards the legislators so that they take strict actions to reslove
these Correct your spelling
resolve
problems
for the welfare of the common masses. To nip the evil in the bud, common masses and celebritites
should help Correct your spelling
celebrities
the
Correct article usage
apply
NGO'S
to make the world worth living for Change noun form
NGO
the
human beings and make the Correct article usage
apply
life
of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
the
humans easy.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by kkaur9391 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar & Accuracy
Ensure clarity and precision in your writing by regularly checking and correcting grammatical errors. This includes proper use of tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of plurals.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on improving the organization of your essays. While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, the clarity of transition between ideas can be enhanced. Use cohesive devices effectively to help the reader easily follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples and data to support your points. While your essay touches on important topics, offering concrete examples or referring to studies and reports can make your argument more compelling.
Vocabulary Range
Expand your vocabulary range to more accurately express complex ideas. The use of more sophisticated vocabulary will not only help in conveying your point more precisely but also demonstrate your language proficiency.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example