83.The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems? What measures can be used to solve these problems?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary era, migration from rural to metropolitan

areas

Use synonyms

is burgeoning in order to obtain a well-paid job.

Therefore

Linking Words

, not only

cities

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

villages are confronting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

innumerable issues

such

Linking Words

as overpopulation and

crime

Use synonyms

, which need to be halted with

approriate

Correct your spelling

appropriate

measures.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the obstacles and solutions related to

this

Linking Words

phenomenon in the upcoming paragraphs. Initiating with the best possible reasons,

influx

Add an article

the influx

an influx

show examples

of individuals moving to

mega

Correct your spelling

megacities

show examples

cities

Use synonyms

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overpopulation.

In other words

Linking Words

provision

Correct article usage

the provision

show examples

of cut-throat competition demands youngsters to settle in the large

cities

Use synonyms

to earn handsome money.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, city dwellers tend to confront challenges

while

Linking Words

seeking

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

for their living.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of housing space gives birth to inflation in terms of exorbitant house rent.

Consequently

Linking Words

, people resort to criminal activities to supplement their income. In

Vitenam

Correct your spelling

Vietnam

for example

Linking Words

, a survey conducted by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

"Cambridge University" states that in

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2020,

Use synonyms

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

rate

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

surged by 40% in

cities

Use synonyms

, as offenders were

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

Use synonyms

Add an article

a crime

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

in order to pay their exorbitant expenses.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, shortage of labour has become a grave matter of concern for farmers in villages, as

vast

Add an article

a vast

the vast

show examples

portion of individuals

are

Change the verb form

show examples

getting

appeal

Wrong verb form

appealed

show examples

by the lucrative

lifesytle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

cities

Use synonyms

Change preposition

For

show examples

examplify

Correct your spelling

example

, local stores have no employees to work in their stores, which is

putting

Verb problem

having

show examples

an adverse effect on their economic revenue. To address

this

Linking Words

problem,

serveal

Correct your spelling

several

effective methods should be opted.

Introduction

Correct article usage

The introduction

show examples

of vertical buildings in

metropolians

Correct your spelling

metropolitans

metropolitan

can lessen the issue of space.

Hence

Linking Words

regime

Add an article

the regime

show examples

should construct

these apartment

Change the determiner

this apartment

these apartments

show examples

accomodate

Correct your spelling

accommodate

more people in less space.

Moreover

Linking Words

increasing

Correct article usage

an increasing

show examples

number of law-breakers can

control

Wrong verb form

be controlled

show examples

by delivering vocational training

classess

Correct your spelling

classes

, which will render the practical knowledge of the course. In

this

Linking Words

way, they may become more capable

to get

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

greener pastures in future.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when it comes to rural

areas

Use synonyms

, authorities should foster

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new job opportunities with good incentives for workers, which will facilitate them to stay in their home

areas

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of moving to

another

Replace the adjective

another city

other cities

show examples

cities

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

the approach of movement from down-trodden

areas

Use synonyms

mega

Add a hyphen

mega-cities

show examples

cities

Use synonyms

is creating obstacles of overpopulation,

crime

Use synonyms

and

low

Change the article

a low

the low

show examples

number of labour in

cities

Use synonyms

and villages, respectively, which can be eliminated by providing

skyscrapper

Correct your spelling

skyscraper

builidings

Correct your spelling

buildings

, practical education and new job positions with high salary.

gurkeerat45615Mon Feb 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure

Develop a more logical structure by prioritizing your ideas and arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is explained, supported by examples, and concluded smoothly.

introduction conclusion present

Although an introduction and conclusion are present, ensure the introduction more clearly outlines the expected discussion points, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main arguments made.

supported main points

Support your main points with more detailed examples and facts. Vague references reduce the impact of your arguments. Utilize credible sources to strengthen your essay.

complete response

Aim for a more comprehensive response by equally addressing both parts of the question: the problems and the solutions. Ensure your solutions directly address the problems discussed.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and expand upon your ideas for a more comprehensive understanding. Each paragraph should explore its main idea in depth.

relevant specific examples

Integrate more specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. Avoid generic statements by providing detailed scenarios or data.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

378 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Thanks to advancements in technology, the number of business sectors has witnessed significant growth, resulting in heightened competition across many industries. In the pursuit of prominence within their respective sectors, businesses tend to emphasize the quality of their products and services. In my view, this is largely a negative development. A profound understanding of why businesses emphasize that their products are new contributes to grasping the competition in the business world. This essay will discuss both the positive and negative aspects of this development.
7.5
band
The number of people who are fat and overweight are much higher than previous generations. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?
Contrary to popular beliefs, obesity is not always associated with over-consumption of foods as disrupted metabolism can also be the culprit. The research found that modern society has more tendency to suffer from metabolic syndromes, compared to the older generations who are prone to malnutrition. This essay will discuss one of the reasons behind this statement and ways to fix it.
5
band
Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many thought that ancient buildings and houses should be upgraded into modern buildings while building more of this kind in urban areas. On the other hand, some of them debate that old buildings should be kept. Although, these both of view is contrary from each other, but it will give it's own advantage.
<4
band
Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
These days, shopping has become more prevalent among teenagers in many countries. This is due to the fact that we are living in the world of consumerism and a throw away culture. In my opinion, I believe that it has more advantages than the disadvantages, which I will discuss in this essay with relevant examples.
6.5
band
Many feel that going tp the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
Whilst some people believe that the best way to be fit is going to a gym, others believe that there are different and more effective ways. This essay discusses both sides and explains why I believe that being a member of a gym is the best choice.

83.The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems? What measures can be used to solve these problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The number of people who are fat and overweight are much higher than previous generations. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many feel that going tp the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.