At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of the situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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No one can deny that the global young people population are gradually rising compared to

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the

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older population.

Although

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this

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can bring some disadvantages, I am more inclined toward its advantages.In

this

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essay ,I will discuss both the negative and the positive

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. In terms of downsides, a young individual is most likely unskilled and lacks

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knowledge about life and job.

Apart from

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this

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, it has a huge impact on society as well if the younger race with a negative education background has been involved with drugs and crime .

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,knowledge transfer can be strengthened in societies with more mature people because they have been exposed to the world for a longer period of time.

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,expertise is needed for a better future.

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, the right education and guidance can be provided to the young ones so that they are on the road to good improvement.

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, the upsides of

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phenomenon outweigh its drawbacks.

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with, the youngsters are fast learner and young.

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, the technologies in

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era are advancing , and young adults are more suitable to take part in research and explore the world because it takes years to

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the tasks.

Nevertheless

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, the youths

also

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produce

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good productivity compared to old people because of their stamina and health issues.

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, a company that hired more young workers have increased the value of the company. In conclusion,a large figure of young humans compared to ageing adults will have both pros and cons but I believe that the benefits are more considerable.

tifjongMon Feb 12 2024

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task achievement

Expand and diversify the examples provided to better support your points. This will not only enrich your argument but also demonstrate your ability to draw from a wider range of sources and experiences.

coherence & cohesion

Strive for clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your essay. This will enhance the overall flow and clarity of your argument.

coherence & cohesion

Consider refining and structuring your introduction and conclusion more distinctly. While present, these could be sharpened to preview and recap your main points more effectively.

overall

Be cautious with spelling, punctuation, and grammatical structures. Mistakes can detract from the clarity of your argument and may lead to misunderstandings.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
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meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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