In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population inthe countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development
In some countries around the world, few
people
are moving to cities, the
number of citizens Correct word choice
and the
are
reducing in the countryside Correct subject-verb agreement
is
day-by-day
. There are some merits of Correct your spelling
day by day
this
development, but in my opinion, this
can be negative for some key reasons.
On the one hand, some people
believe that reducing the population of cities is useful for some people
who can buy some
both houses and things like fruit, bread, furniture or others Correct quantifier usage
apply
in
a cheaper Change preposition
at
cost
than previous
days becauseChange preposition
in previous
,
less number of Remove the comma
apply
people
go to shops for shopping as a
result
the Add the preposition
result of
cost
of all of things
in Add an article
the things
this
city may be decreased. Secondly
, the lifespan of some people
may increase because of the fresh air of village
. Everyone Add an article
the village
know
that the air has a big role in our lifespan.
Change the verb form
knows
On the other hand
, others think that negative sites are more. Firstly
, some public places
like school
, Fix the agreement mistake
schools
museum
, Fix the agreement mistake
museums
factory
and others may be closed by the Fix the agreement mistake
factories
governments
requirement Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
as
a result we may see a reduction in both the number Correct word choice
and as
job
Change preposition
of job
places
and amount
of salary. Correct article usage
the amount
Secondly
, some of negative
effects Add an article
the negative
was
found for Change the verb form
were
village
population because, in some villages colossal amounts of Correct article usage
the village
people
who lived in city
moved there, Add an article
the city
consuming
of some products amounts may be increased Correct word choice
and consuming
as a result
we may see an increase in the cost
of these products.
In conclusion, I believe that this
is a negative changing
for not only Replace the word
change
people
but also
the Government because, while
the cost
of some products are
been decreased, some job Verb problem
has
places
may be lost because of closing
Correct article usage
the closing
some
public Change preposition
of some
places
.Submitted by Azizbek on
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coherence cohesion
Structure your essay clearly with separate paragraphs for each main idea. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence.
task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your opinion on the development to guide the reader. In the conclusion, succinctly summarize your arguments to reinforce your viewpoint.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes it more persuasive.
language
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate your language proficiency. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.