IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Teachers in this modern era are unvalued by society than they were in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

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There has long been a public debate about the fact that some experts think that
Correct article usage
the economical
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economical
Replace the word
economic
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 development and growth of every country around the
world
Use synonyms
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
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 to create more satisfaction
of
Change preposition
for
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 their citizens. Without a shadow of a doubt, I believe humans are perfectionists
thus
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 they always want more.
Therefore
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 I do not agree with
this
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 theory and the reasons for my opinion will be discussed in
this
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 essay. In the modern
world
Use synonyms
 money exerts the biggest value and impact
in
Change preposition
on
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 community lifestyle.
For instance
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, several years ago the Times published an article about
satisfaction
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the satisfaction
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 of wealthy and
reach
Correct your spelling
rich
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people
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, some of them have achieved success, money or popularity and did it from scratch,
others
Correct word choice
while others
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 were born
in
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into
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 a wealthy
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 and with an inheritance, but they
also
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 worked a lot for being as an equal with
they
Correct your spelling
the
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 parent’s breakthroughs. And these
people
Use synonyms
 usually are not satisfied. The same comparison was published by the magazine about citizens of rich countries with the best economic circumstances, they will not be cheerful because the
world
Use synonyms
 is changing day by day societies need to be new and up to date.
However
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, it is hard to deny that the
improving
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improvement
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 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 in rich countries does not affect
at
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apply
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all
Correct determiner usage
an
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on
Change preposition
apply
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individual’s life. One
examples
Change to a singular noun
example
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 of
this
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 is Finland, which
has
Verb problem
is
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 the happiest nation in the
world
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 and its wealth index is enormous.
People
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 there spend more time with their families
instead
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 of
work
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working
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whole
Add an article
the whole
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 time and children there are studying 3-4 days a week and have more free time. 

To sum up
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, there are always will
exist
Verb problem
be
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people
Use synonyms
 who will not see the end of the path, they will find new different necessaries year by year. And it will not always depend on economic wealth.

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Task Response
Make sure to directly address the essay topic in your introduction and throughout your essay. You've discussed economic development and satisfaction which is marginally related but not directly on topic about teachers' value in society.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop a clear thesis statement that reflects your stance on the question and summarize your main points again in the conclusion to strengthen the overall structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use paragraphs to organize your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should have one main idea supported by examples or explanations. Ensure there is a logical flow between your paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Choose examples that are directly relevant to your main arguments. Make sure your examples specifically support the points you're making regarding the value of teachers in modern society.
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