1-In the recent years, television has contributed the most to changing people’s quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I have 2 different opinions about the contributions that Television made
on
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to
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nowdays
Correct your spelling
today
society. Before television was invented, many
people
would only know what was happening around them, and their knowledge of
what's
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what was
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outside their city or country was very minimal.
At today
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Today
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there are plenty of documentaries that can potentially enrich a person culturally,
people
can watch and learn about nature, learn about animal species or about how other humans live their lives
in
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on
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the other side of the world,
that is
very enriching;
however
during the years we witnessed a consistent decrease of quality
tv
, to make space to a lot of *trash content* like (great brother or love island)
furthermore
sexuality is now spread all over,
easy
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easily
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accessable
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accessible
to the youngs that sometimes have no shield from it and get introduced to it at a total inappropriate age.
Moreover
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Moreover,
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television
limited
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limits
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the
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apply
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interaction
within
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among
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people
, some individuals spend their days
whatching
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watching
tv
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TV
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or
for example
playing
videogames
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video
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instead
of going out and
engage
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engaging
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in physical activities or
socialize
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socialising
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with other
people
hence
the birth of a lot of illnesses (
phisical
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physical
and mental) that are the result of a lazy life, lonliness that brings depression, or lack of sports that brings cardio-vascoulary diseases. At the same time though
tv
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TV
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is a good company
to
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for
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some
elderlies
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elderly
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that
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who
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left alone by their families, would have nothing to do during the day. If I had to pick for myself I would choose two hours chatting in person with a friend in front
a
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of a
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coffee
than
Rephrase
rather than
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sit at home and watch
tv
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TV
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. My conclusion is that
tv
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TV
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most likely
gave
Verb problem
has
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a negative contribution to
people
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people's
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lives, but as humans we can make
the
Correct article usage
a
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difference, and we can profit
of
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from
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this
big invention by teaching and limiting the younger
generations
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generations'
generation's
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use of it.
Submitted by g.marta2013 on

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task achievement
Start your essay with a clear stance on the prompt to better guide readers and clarify your argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into distinct paragraphs, each with a single main idea. This will help in creating a logical flow and making your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
End your essay with a definitive conclusion that summarizes your arguments and reiterates your stance. This will make your essay feel complete.
task achievement
Use a variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate your language ability. Avoid using slang or informal expressions like 'trash content' which may not be suitable for an academic essay.
task achievement
Back up your opinions with more detailed examples or evidence. While you mentioned general aspects, specifics can strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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