Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons is it possitive or negative development?
Some
people
tend to spend their money
rather than save for some unique things. In my opinion, this
development has some negative sites, and there are some key reasons.
On the one hand, I believe that there are some key reasons of
Change preposition
for
this
development. Firstly
, some people
among
the world cannot make enough profit Change preposition
in
for
their daily Change preposition
from
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
as a result
they may have financial
Add an article
a financial
limit
, and they cannot save a Fix the agreement mistake
limits
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
money
not only for their future plans but also
buying some unique things which they want to buy. Secondly
, some people
cannot save their money
because,
they tend to Remove the comma
apply
spending
a lot of Change the verb
spend
money
such
as if they see something while
going to
somewhere, they see something by chance, and they want to buy it. Remove the preposition
apply
This
is a tendancy
Correct your spelling
tendency
of buying
something.
Change preposition
to buy
On the other hand
, in detail, there are some negative sites of do
not saving a few amounts of Unnecessary verb
apply
money
. Firstly
, if some people
who
do not like to save a part Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
of
their salary, they cannot buy something or go anywhere they want in the future, and in their Change preposition
from
life
we always see a lack of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
money
. Secondly
, the main reason why do
not saving Unnecessary verb
apply
money
is a negative development is that if they do not use to
save Verb problem
apply
money
, they may not ready
for some struggles in Add a missing verb
be ready
near
future because, Correct article usage
the near
while
saving money
they may use to
spend less Verb problem
apply
money
than before.
In conclusion, I believe that this
tendancy
has many negative sites compared to positives, and some Correct your spelling
tendency
people
want to do
not allocate some of their Unnecessary verb
apply
money
for some reasons which are given at the top of the essay.Submitted by Azizbek on
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Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt. Your discussion focused more on the reasons and consequences of spending vs. saving rather than exploring whether it's a positive or negative development. Adding more explicit evaluation of the development's positivity or negativity would strengthen your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Though your paragraph divisions are clear, transitions between ideas within paragraphs can be smoother. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader more effectively from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your main points; this could involve drawing on real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios that illustrate the impacts of not saving money. Adding these examples will enrich your essay and make your arguments more persuasive.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?