IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and will use up the world’s resources. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #air #travel #pollution #world’s #resources
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s world,
air
travel
 plays
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 part in
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, a growing number of
flights
 are making money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 airlines but, on the other side, have an impact on the environment. I feel that restrictions should be imposed on
air
travel
.
To begin
,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
we
travel
 by plane and can’t deny that it is very comfortable, but aircraft cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pollution,
for example
,
air
 pollution; when plane fuel burns, it produces CO2
as well as
 non-co2 emissions and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 an effect on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. and when the aircraft take-off or landing makes some noise to people live near the airport.
moreover
, nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
airline
Fix the agreement mistake
airlines
show examples
 add
flights
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 respond to customer needs,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 noise more than before.
However
,
journey
Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
show examples
 by plane
spend
Verb problem
take
show examples
 less time on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, but, it’s
expensive
Correct quantifier usage
more expensive
show examples
 than other ways of
travel
.
Hence
, if you
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
stick
Verb problem
have
show examples
 time maybe taking a train is
travel
Correct article usage
a travel
show examples
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
show examples
 and
take
Verb problem
you can
show examples
 view
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside.
However
, the
air
 is certainly the only fastest means of transport to fly across countries. So, it should be operated in
such
 a way that its strengths can be taken maximum advantage of.
For instance
, by replacing old engines with cleaner ones. people can relieve the negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 caused by flying. In conclusion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should be considering
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and health, and find
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to solve a problem
such
 as
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
 taxes to
flights
 for harder
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and reduce
show examples
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
flights
 per day
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 the
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
number of passengers
show examples
must
Correct pronoun usage
who must
show examples
 be more than half of the total so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be
fly
Change the form of the verb
flying
show examples
.
Additionally
, developing transportation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
such
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 sky train, train for
alternative
Add an article
an alternative
show examples
 one
Submitted by chompoo34888 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point (e.g., problems of air travel, solutions, and your opinion). This structure will enhance both coherence and cohesion.
Logical Structure
Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement, outlining your view. Wrap up with a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your position. This helps in presenting a logically structured argument.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Vague statements lessen the impact of your argument.
Complete Response
Ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue and clearly stating your opinion. This will help achieve task completeness.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly. Avoid long, complicated sentences that make comprehension difficult. Simplicity and clarity will improve your essay.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to support your views. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: