IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for different age groups in Canada. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for different age groups in Canada. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the major reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 stress for different ages in Canada. The data is available from 25 to 75 and more years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who with
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 75 and over years have more
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 than
25
Correct determiner usage
those 25
show examples
-54 years
.
Correct word choice
old.
show examples
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, younger
people
Use synonyms
 often
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 too much and exceed their
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shown by the
chart
Use synonyms
, not enough money
chart
Use synonyms
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minimal amount of stressed
people
Use synonyms
 highest is 15%.
Interesting
Change the word
Interestingly
show examples
,
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 biggest percentage of stress in Canada (35, a bit more than 30)
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 no particular reasons. It means, that most
people
Use synonyms
 are stressed for no
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
.
Important
Add an article
The important
An important
show examples
 thing to notice, age 55-64 for all four
Use synonyms
chart
Change to a plural noun
charts
show examples
 didn’t change
change
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
a lot it
always
Add a missing verb
was always
show examples
 ten or 17.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: