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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for different age groups in Canada. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the bar chart below shows the most important causes of stress for different age groups in Canada. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #stress #age #groups #canada #information #features #comparisons
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The bar
chart
 illustrates the major reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 stress for different ages in Canada. The data is available from 25 to 75 and more years.
Overall
,
people
 who with
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 75 and over years have more
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 than
25
Correct determiner usage
those 25
show examples
-54 years
.
Correct word choice
old.
show examples
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, younger
people
 often
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 too much and exceed their
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shown by the
chart
, not enough money
chart
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minimal amount of stressed
people
 highest is 15%.
Interesting
Change the word
Interestingly
show examples
,
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 biggest percentage of stress in Canada (35, a bit more than 30)
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 no particular reasons. It means, that most
people
 are stressed for no
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
.
Important
Add an article
The important
An important
show examples
 thing to notice, age 55-64 for all four
chart
Change to a plural noun
charts
show examples
 didn’t change
change
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
a lot it
always
Add a missing verb
was always
show examples
 ten or 17.
Submitted by balnur_amantay on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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