Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?

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Majorities of the countries
went to
Verb problem
have
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the same problem, which is the decreasing number of
people
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in rural areas because of mass urbanization from the countryside to the urban
cities
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. In my opinion,
this
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issue results in detrimental side effects
such
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as the high gap
of
Change preposition
in
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infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
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and economic equality in each area. The increasing population of the city will exhaust country resources just to keep up with their needs because the development of less common areas will become second. If
this
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keeps happening, the citizens will always try to go to the
cities
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. They could abandon their village, and
this
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results in lowering the effectiveness of trade and production.
For instance
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, from 1995 to 2004, Indonesia centralized their infrastructure only to big
cities
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, impacting farmers and ranchers who switched their professions to office workers and lowering production.
This
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phenomenon crushed Indonesian currency, caused chaos, and was noted as the
government
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government's
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failure to equalize development throughout history.
In addition
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic equality will be different,
thus
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making
people
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suffer to get their primary needs. The finance circulation will be only in the
cities
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. Should
this
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continues
Correct subject-verb agreement
continue
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, more
village
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villages
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will suffer in poverty.
People
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will not develop their own hometown, and children and students move out until the village is abandoned or gone.
For example
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, in Japan, there is one area that the government is trying to make
people
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live there, and they even will support them with money. The area itself is abandoned because of urbanization
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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makes the natural resources wasted.
People
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said living there was hard because they had a hard time selling their goods there rather than in the
cities
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. In conclusion,
cities
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do give more opportunities that make
people
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want to move there.
However
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, if the government keeps the phenomenon without reversing the problem,
then
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the country will face more significant negative effects.
Submitted by claudideborah on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, aim to include a more varied range of sentence structures and vocabulary. This will enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider dividing your paragraphs more clearly to help the reader differentiate your main points, and ensure each paragraph opens with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Continue to develop your task achievement by ensuring that you not only state your position but also thoroughly explore the implications of your argument. Adding more depth to your discussion, considering counterarguments, and providing speculative insights could further solidify your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Amenities
  • Economic prospects
  • Overcrowding
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Agricultural abandonment
  • Cultural diversity
  • Innovation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Family ties
  • Infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Rural revitalization
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