Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?

Majorities of the countries
went to
Verb problem
have
show examples
the same problem, which is the decreasing number of
people
in rural areas because of mass urbanization from the countryside to the urban
cities
. In my opinion,
this
issue results in detrimental side effects
such
as the high gap
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
show examples
and economic equality in each area. The increasing population of the city will exhaust country resources just to keep up with their needs because the development of less common areas will become second. If
this
keeps happening, the citizens will always try to go to the
cities
. They could abandon their village, and
this
results in lowering the effectiveness of trade and production.
For instance
, from 1995 to 2004, Indonesia centralized their infrastructure only to big
cities
, impacting farmers and ranchers who switched their professions to office workers and lowering production.
This
phenomenon crushed Indonesian currency, caused chaos, and was noted as the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
failure to equalize development throughout history.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic equality will be different,
thus
making
people
suffer to get their primary needs. The finance circulation will be only in the
cities
. Should
this
continues
Correct subject-verb agreement
continue
show examples
, more
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
show examples
will suffer in poverty.
People
will not develop their own hometown, and children and students move out until the village is abandoned or gone.
For example
, in Japan, there is one area that the government is trying to make
people
live there, and they even will support them with money. The area itself is abandoned because of urbanization
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes the natural resources wasted.
People
said living there was hard because they had a hard time selling their goods there rather than in the
cities
. In conclusion,
cities
do give more opportunities that make
people
want to move there.
However
, if the government keeps the phenomenon without reversing the problem,
then
the country will face more significant negative effects.
Submitted by claudideborah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your score, aim to include a more varied range of sentence structures and vocabulary. This will enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider dividing your paragraphs more clearly to help the reader differentiate your main points, and ensure each paragraph opens with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Continue to develop your task achievement by ensuring that you not only state your position but also thoroughly explore the implications of your argument. Adding more depth to your discussion, considering counterarguments, and providing speculative insights could further solidify your stance.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Amenities
  • Economic prospects
  • Overcrowding
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Agricultural abandonment
  • Cultural diversity
  • Innovation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Family ties
  • Infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Rural revitalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!