Some people say that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of
students
, need to study full-timetime education until they are 18 years old by graduating from junior
school
or college.
That is
normal academic learning. And practical experience in recent 10 years,
students
do not like
this
kind of
full-timetime
Correct your spelling
full-time
discipline because sometimes they can not think independently, but they cannot find any time to learn other skills and the ability to solve problems. It disagrees that young children gain
full-timetime
Correct your spelling
full-time
education.
Firstly
, the studying system starts in kindergarten elementary, secondary to high
school
and it takes around 1.5 decades from 3 to 18. After that, they should get higher literacy in at least three or four years at university.
Thus
, sometimes makes
edults
Correct your spelling
adults
feel like do not have enough experience in practical activities
accuses
Correct word choice
and accuses
show examples
them of hard learning results.
For instance
,
students
in urban schools cannot recognize anything in rural areas. Meanwhile, youngsters would be fond of some extracurricular activities and even positively participate in motivating their potential and promoting their assessments.
For example
, some high
school
candidates attend a drone design tournament to go through entire procedures,
then
become familiar with the production process and gain awards in complex research and study in physics, mathematics, and engineering technology. Teenagers who only attend
school
courses might have issues in their minds,
such
as missing interpersonal relationships, mental confusion, sensitive cognition, and loss of their heads. Boys and girls are both eager to receive extra-educational guidance so that they can understand team spirit, respect, and compromise. These can be helpful to teens’ growth. In conclusion, full-time schooling is unfavourable to young
students
, especially for training professional timbers.
Conversely
, shortening the full-time class periods or increasing auxiliary practical activities with more proportion of course plans and innovative projects could benefit pupils’ growth.
Submitted by ilyosov2003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure clarity when introducing your essay. An explicit thesis statement clarifying your position would make your introduction stronger.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. While you provided examples, further elaboration could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce your points clearly.
coherence cohesion
Connect your ideas more smoothly by using a range of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, for better flow and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent argument throughout the essay. Consistency in supporting your thesis will improve the coherence of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: