The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issue involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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Nowadays, worldwide health departments have been focusing on the increasing number of obese people.

Although

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the majority of individuals believe that an ideal solution to overcome

this

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situation is by implementing more physical training in school, I would argue that

this

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is not the only way. It is true that physical lessons in the curriculum can prevent the growing percentages of people who are seriously overweight in the future, as they can have healthy lifestyles from an early age.

For example

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, students can apply their training experiences in order to maintain their body states.

However

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this

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only assists a small range of communities and

this

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plan is future-oriented. It is claimed by experts that the age ranges of people suffering from obesity are above teenagers;

consequently

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, we need more than preventive strategies to deal with

this

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phenomenon.

On the other hand

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, I believe that the most accurate strategy to handle

this

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problem is advertising healthy diet and food habits.

Furthermore

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according to

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professionals, diet is the main factor in gaining weight

besides

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genetic aspects. The best case to illustrate

this

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is in the US grocery stores, there are various food products that undergo complex factory processes,

because

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and because

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of that the US citizens not only get significant weight gain but

also

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other severe diseases

likewise

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heart problems.

Thus

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this

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is the reason why we should eat healthily. In conclusion,

while

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providing children with a positive curriculum can assist them to maintain their physical health,

public

Correct article usage

the public

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in general

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Your opinion

What can we learn from the boys' experience about the nature of power and leadership?

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum children, others think that for all school age children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion,

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, most people worked for small businesses, while more people now work for large businesses. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working for large businesses?