Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that many commenters said

sports

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that are dangerous like diving into the sky and climbing into rocks should be prohibited because of their negative

effects

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. I totally disagree with

this

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given statement because of some obvious benefits of it.

To begin

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with, there are many reasons why these risky

sports

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need to be taken. The first reason is that those are obviously effective for

build

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building

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up confidence in any hard situations.

People

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who do

this

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type of

activity

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they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become

more brave

Correct word choice

braver

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and

strong

Replace the word

stronger

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mind.

For example

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, some things we here unexcepted

accedent

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accident

such

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as plain, broken buildings for earthquake, hill loss. These skills help

people

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to save their

life

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creaking

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creating

show examples

courage on their insides. Another reason is tech taking risks in every situation in

people

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life

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. When someone ever attends

this

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type of

sports

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activity

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, they are able to overcome any detrimental

effects

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on their

life

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As a result

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, it makes them more enjoyable

person

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people

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Moreover

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, some

people

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love to take

advantours

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advantage

of activities, so those who love it, can take it. By doing

this

Linking Words

activity

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, they make them a happy person. Something that releases extra pressure on their

life

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For instance

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, a person in Bangladesh climbs the highest pinnacle

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show examples

mountains just for her

curious

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curiosity

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Change preposition

about

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this

Linking Words

type of risky

activity

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Furthermore

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, from a job

prospective

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perspective

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those activities help

people

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get good jobs in some specific sectors from those who are not taking these jobs. In conclusion,

although

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extremely

sports

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activities which have dangerous

effects

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people

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are risky, In my opinion,

the

Correct your spelling

they

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tremendous benefits of

it overcome

Wrong verb form

overcoming

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the negative

effects

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, and I urge that,

Correct pronoun usage

They

show examples

should be allowed.

emaMon Feb 12 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, which is good. However, to improve Task Achievement, make sure to directly address the question prompt in both your introduction and conclusion. Be specific in stating whether you agree or disagree and why.

Task Achievement

Try to provide clearer, more specific examples to support your arguments. The examples given are somewhat vague and could be more thoroughly explained to enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is somewhat clear but can be improved. Aim for a more explicit organization, using clear paragraphing and transitions to guide the reader through your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to avoid generalizations and instead focus on including more detailed descriptions and examples to strengthen your main points.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some employers want their employees to be contactable for work purposes at all times. Does this attitude have more advantages than disadvantages?

In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.