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Band 5.5

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012
#percentage #staff #members #faculties #university
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The bar graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about the proportion of women and men in different academic
staff
Use synonyms
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
such
Linking Words
 as art, business, education, engineering,
law
Use synonyms
, medicine and science over the faculties of the main college in one year.
Overall
Linking Words
, engineering and education are the most popular subjects among men and women. Meanwhile, art, business,
law
Use synonyms
,
medicene
Correct your spelling
medicine
 and science remain insignificant over the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
. Looking
further
Linking Words
 into the details, among students of engineering, there are almost 60% more males than females.
While
Linking Words
 a large proportion of women prefer education.
However
Linking Words
, the percentages of male and
females
Change the noun form
female
show examples
 students choosing medicine of
univertisty
Correct your spelling
university
staff
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 are similar. In terms of
law
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, men comprise a significantly higher percentage of
law
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staff
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 members over 50%. Meanwhile, twice as many males as females decide to science
staff
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 element at
univeristy
Correct your spelling
university
. The difference in
numbers
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
 of male and female students in art
staff
Use synonyms
 remains insignificant.
Submitted by Vlguerrero7 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words staff, law with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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