The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012

#percentage #staff #members #faculties #university

The bar graph

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

information about the proportion of women and men in different academic

staff

memebers

Correct your spelling

members

such

as art, business, education, engineering,

law

, medicine and science over the faculties of the main college in one year.

Overall

, engineering and education are the most popular subjects among men and women. Meanwhile, art, business,

law

medicene

Correct your spelling

medicine

and science remain insignificant over the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

. Looking

further

into the details, among students of engineering, there are almost 60% more males than females.

While

a large proportion of women prefer education.

However

, the percentages of male and

females

Change the noun form

female

show examples

students choosing medicine of

univertisty

Correct your spelling

university

staff

are similar. In terms of

law

, men comprise a significantly higher percentage of

law

staff

members over 50%. Meanwhile, twice as many males as females decide to science

staff

element at

univeristy

Correct your spelling

university

. The difference in

numbers

Correct article usage

the numbers

show examples

of male and female students in art

staff

remains insignificant.

Submitted by Vlguerrero7 on Mon Feb 12 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words staff, law with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

146 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012

Nowadays, more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries young people are encouraged to travel or work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online learning.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?