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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. ,1191ummarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. ,1191ummarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The table chart illustrates the statistics about the underground subway in six metropolitan cities, including their opening date, area,
Use synonyms
passengers
Correct word choice
and passengers
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that
London
Correct article usage
the London
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metro
Use synonyms
 covered the most
track
Fix the agreement mistake
tracks
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while
Linking Words
 Kyoto took the least length.
Further
Linking Words
, in terms of carrying
passengers
Use synonyms
 Tokyo's
metro
Use synonyms
 was ahead of other cities.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, London's underground railway system was the first which was inaugurated in 1863 , had
taken
Wrong verb form
took
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 a maximum journey , was 394km.It carried 775
million
Use synonyms
 commuters in a year which was in third rank. In the 18th century , the
metro
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 was opened up in Paris , and it covered 199km which was half the distance in comparison to London's
metro
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.In terms of
passengers
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, it took 1191
million
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 which was the second largest.In 1927, the underground railway station was facilitated in Tokyo ,where it had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 path of 155km,
however
Linking Words
,
passengers
Use synonyms
 had increased there , it was 1927
million
Use synonyms
 which was the highest as compared to other cities. Moving
Further
Linking Words
, in Washington DC , the subway was introduced in 1976, it took up a 126km road , which was larger than Los Angeles and Kyoto and when it comes to carrying travellers ,it took 144
million
Use synonyms
 per year.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the
metro
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 was opened in Kyoto in the 1980s , Not only it covered the least radius (11km), but
also
Linking Words
 carried the lowest number of masses (45
million
Use synonyms
).
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2001, an underground railway system was added , it had a route of 28km and 50
million
Use synonyms
 individuals travelled per year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words passengers, metro, km, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inaugurated
  • passenger throughput
  • network extensiveness
  • utilization rate
  • infrastructure
  • capacity
  • comparative analysis
  • disparity
  • ridership
  • underutilized
  • commuter density
  • historical significance
  • relatively recent
  • well-established
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