Some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of population who are aged 15 and younger. What is your opinion of the current and future effects it may have in those countries ?

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The debate surrounding

about

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the rising

number of

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young population could potentially lead to various effects

especially

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, especially

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for the

long term

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long-term

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risk. On one hand, younger people

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are

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perceived as a

challange

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challenge

to create social unrest.

This

Linking Words

essay posits that the benefits brought by

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younger populace significantly outweigh the drawbacks,

could

Correct word choice

and could

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lead to a vibrant and innovative society.

Firstly

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a youthful population invaluable

repositories

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repository

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of their adaptability to learn something new

especially

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, especially

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in technology, which they impart to help elder generations. Their perspectives, shaped by fresh diverse experiences, are crucial in guiding the society. Take,

for instance

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, their role in shaping economic growth and contributing to the country's GDP . Their firsthand accounts and insights are irreplaceable, ensuring that lessons from the past are not just remembered but integrated into current societal norms and decision-making processes.

This

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intergenerational exchange fosters a society

that is

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well-grounded in its history and more resilient to future challenges.

Moreover

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, contrary to the belief that excessive productive age could potentially lead to high unemployment rates

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unless there are enough job opportunities to match the workforce. In countries like Indonesia, where the younger population is notably high, they are not just participating but are essential in addressing labour shortages. Their presence in various sectors brings a balance of skills and perspectives, often leading to more innovative and empathetic workplace cultures.

Additionally

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, their leadership roles in organizations enhance knowledge transfer, ensuring business continuity and growth. In conclusion, though the phenomenon of people living longer than ever before is posing some challenges, these are far outweighed by the societal contributions made by the elderly. Their involvement in cultural preservation and continuous economic participation affirms their invaluable role. Societies rich in younger citizens benefit from a wealth of history and experience, fostering more resilient and dynamic economic and social frameworks.

sofinnovitaTue Feb 13 2024

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task achievement

Develop a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the question. This helps clarify your stance and the direction of your essay.

task achievement

Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence. While your essay introduces interesting points, more concrete examples directly related to the impact of a young population would strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases that signal the relationship between ideas can enhance the flow of your essay and make your argument more coherent.

task achievement

Try to maintain balance in discussing both sides of the issue, even if you are arguing for one in particular. Acknowledging counterarguments can provide a more comprehensive view and strengthen your position.

task achievement

Review your conclusion to ensure it succinctly summarizes the main points of your essay and clearly restates your opinion. This helps reinforce your argument and leaves a strong final impression on the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ever-increasing
proportion
vibrant
innovative
strain
cater
predominantly
unemployment
adequately
GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
sustainability
demographic
reforms
social unrest
illusioned
dynamic
global stage

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Some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of population who are aged 15 and younger. What is your opinion of the current and future effects it may have in those countries ?

Your opinion

Disruptive school children have negative influence on others. students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that scientists experimenting with animal in a laboratory is the only way we can guarantee new products will be safe for Human's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?