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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The trends of students going abroad for studies is increasing, is this an advantage or a disadvantage?

#trends #students #studies #advantage
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Recently,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 abroad
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 a trend, and it is increasing.
This
Linking Words
 condition possesses several advantages, and it will be elaborated on
the
Change preposition
in the
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 below paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first advantage of
students
Use synonyms
 going
another
Change preposition
to another
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 country for studies is to obtain the best
quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
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. There are several developed countries that have good
quality
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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teaching, and the learning is suitable
by
Change preposition
for
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 the needs of
students
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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,
facility
Correct article usage
the facility
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of
Change preposition
on
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 campus
that is
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 afforded greatly supports the activities of learning.
United
Correct article usage
The United
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 Kingdom,
for instance
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, owns many universities with acceptable
quality
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such
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 as Oxford and Cambridge University. They have
library
Add an article
a library
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, laboratorium and other several rooms that can encourage
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
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 of the
students
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.
Hence
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, the
students
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 who acquire satisfactory
quality
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 of
education
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 will be able to increase their ability in
education
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, study abroad is able to increase their career opportunities. They can meet with many people from other countries so that they possess many friends, and if they are lucky, they are able to join in foreign company from their relations, and they
also
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 can gain
the
Correct article usage
a
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 high salary.
For example
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, Amazon is one of the companies that receives
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
Use synonyms
 who have graduated from several big campuses.
To sum up
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, there are several advantages if the
students
Use synonyms
 go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abrod
Correct your spelling
abroad
 for studies
such
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 as getting
good
Add an article
a good
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quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 and escalating their occasion to work.
Submitted by fifi on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring the introduction and conclusion more effectively. Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the essay's intent and that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a broader range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay question, stating clearly if you believe the trend is more of an advantage or disadvantage. Expand on this in your conclusion.
Task Achievement
Integrate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the complexity and clarity of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points, ensuring they directly relate to and strengthen your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural diversity
  • Quality of education
  • State-of-the-art facilities
  • Global network
  • Multinational companies
  • Financial strain
  • Student debt
  • Culture shock
  • Homesickness
  • Language proficiency
  • Global citizens
  • Balanced approach
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