IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Teamwork offers a lot of benefits in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In contemporary
society
Add a comma
society,
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 unity of
people
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 provides plenty of advantages. The benefits are like meeting new
people
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,
advance
Wrong verb form
advancing
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 your personal skills and eventually
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 as a
team
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. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will demonstrate
positive
Add an article
the positive
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 impact of
teamwork
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to
Change preposition
on
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 modern society.
To begin
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with
Add a comma
with,
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 the latter's point of view
teamwork
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 has a big advantage
such
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 as meeting new
people
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 and friends that can lead to a new level of partnership.
Moreover
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, when you have new friends, you start being socially active. Many problems and difficult
obsticales
Correct your spelling
obstacles
 may be solved when you work as a
team
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.
For example
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, there are five
person
Change to a plural noun
people
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as
Change preposition
in
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 a
team
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 and each person can take one or two
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
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 to address the shortcomings which makes the whole process of
solution
Replace the word
solving
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 problem
more
Change the word
apply
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easier.
Teamwork
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make
Change the verb form
makes
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people
Use synonyms
 cohesive and strong.
In addition
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, I think that
teamwork
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 really helps you to grow personally and master your skills.
While
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 having a task to be solved you
substantually
Correct your spelling
substantially
 try to do your best in a bid to help your
team
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 and it makes you
to
Change the verb form
apply
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advance in your
particulat
Correct your spelling
particular
 field.
Furthermore
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, it makes you better at your hard
amd
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and
 soft skills.
For instance
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, Cambridge University discovered that
teamwork
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 has a big positive benefit like self-grow. The more you put effort into something, the better result you achieve,
therefore
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 in
result
Correct article usage
a result
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 you help your
team
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. In conclusion, in modern
society
Add a comma
society,
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teamwork
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 is crucial if something difficult needs to be solved.
The
Correct article usage
Teamwork
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teamwork
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 not only
unite
Correct subject-verb agreement
unites
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people
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them strong, better at something and cohesive.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on diversifying your sentence structures to add depth and complexity to your arguments. Avoiding repetition will make your essay more engaging.
Task Achievement
Develop your main ideas further with more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your points more persuasive.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement to provide a clearer direction for your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and clearly restates your position on the topic. This reinforces the coherence of your essay.
General
Check your essay for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to enhance its overall readability.
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