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Some people said that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, some people believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both sides.

#people #children #musicians #athletes #music #sports
It is often thought that only talented
children
 can become successful musicians or athletes.
However
, some people believe that
children
 can be taught to succeed in music or sports. In
this
 case,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer to agree with the second statement, saying that
children
 can be taught to succeed in nonacademic things.
This
 essay will discuss the debatable issue given. A growing body of research
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
 that parents give their
children
 knowledge in nonacademic things
such
 as playing instruments or being in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
gymnastics, mainly because it can help
children
 to grow their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 and talent.
Such
 talent can be used by them to win competitions and will result in their
children
's character
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
. It can
also
 help them in entering college, they can submit their certificates for the college to consider them. The second point to emphasise is that art and sport are things that can be learned. Even though talents from within
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 them
in growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 faster, there is no reason that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 cannot be learned by practising and consistency.
Talents
Fix the agreement mistake
Talent
show examples
 only supports the
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
, not deciding the career of a musician or athlete.
For instance
, there is a chance that someone who
plays
Wrong verb form
has played
show examples
 piano since they were young get defeated by
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who learned and
practice
Wrong verb form
practised
show examples
 later in life. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree that
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young kids are developing, they can be taught to master
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
arts or even sports.
Hence
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that by practising and consistency, they can
also
 determine their success in their career.
Submitted by arrafiv on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your essay's coherence, focus on structuring your paragraphs clearly with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words to smoothly link ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you discuss both viewpoints equally before presenting your opinion. Provide specific examples to support each point, making your argument more convincing.
General Advice
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more interesting and to demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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