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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism out weight its drawbacks?

#places #world #tourism #source #income #weight
Many countries depend on
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 industry as the main source of revenue;
however
,
tourism
 can
be
Change the verb form
also have
show examples
also
 have
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 drawbacks if it is not controlled. The demerits of
tourism
such
 as environmental damage and more pressure on natural resources are overshadowed by the merits of foreign
currency
 generation and
creation
Correct article usage
the creation
show examples
 of jobs for the locals. Many nations around the world depend on
tourism
 as a source of foreign
currency
. As
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 from all parts of the world enter a country for
tourism
 purposes, they bring with them foreign
currency
 for both the government and ordinary citizens.
For instance
, when they buy from local shops, local businesses can access foreign
currency
.
Moreover
,
tourism
 creates jobs as the government and other private individuals invest more in restaurants, hotels and other entertainment activities thereby employing locals who previously didn't have jobs.
On the other hand
, the
tourism
 industry can create problems for a country if it is not managed in the right way.
Inorder
Correct your spelling
In order
show examples
 to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 the growing number of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 usually the government is forced to destroy habitats land and
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 hotels and restaurants.
Although
 a country can do its best in protecting the environment, as more
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 flock to one place it can increase pressure on natural resources
such
 as food and water. Despite engineering a lot of problems, the cons of environmental damage and pressure on natural resources the cons are totally
overided
Correct your spelling
covered
override
 by the pros of accessing foreign
currency
 and the creation of employment. In conclusion, as many parts of the world rely more on
tourism
, if it is not managed correctly it can have a downward side.
However
 , there are more advantages of
tourism
 than advantages. Governments
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to effectively manage the drawbacks of
tourism
 so as to avoid many problems that can be brought by
tourism
.
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on

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Task Response
Focus on providing a clear thesis statement in your introduction that distinctly outlines your opinion on whether the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks. This will guide the reader and clarify your position from the outset.
Task Response
Expand on your examples by providing more detailed and specific scenarios or data to strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensively address the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This helps in achieving a smoother flow and making your argumentation more coherent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. Avoid overly broad statements without specific support, as this weakens your argument's persuasiveness.
General
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar, ensuring variety and accuracy. Complex sentence structures can add sophistication to your argument when used correctly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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