In order to become a successful sportsperson,some people argue that you need to have access to the latest technology and the most up-to-date euipment.Other people believe that these things are not necessary for sporting success. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays the

sports

Use synonyms

field

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

getting more and more competition and it tends to the enormous failure for the

sports

Use synonyms

persons.There are some people

think

Correct pronoun usage

who think

show examples

they need some new

technologies

Use synonyms

to overcome the failure.But other

thinks

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

to do well in skills.

To begin

Linking Words

with

Add a comma

with,

show examples

the most number of

countries

Use synonyms

developed their

technologies

Use synonyms

for

sports

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

that particular

countries

Use synonyms

got a tremendous result

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

when

show examples

compared to the undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

,China got more

olympic

Change the capitalization

Olympic

show examples

medals than other south

asian

Change the capitalization

Asian

show examples

countries

Use synonyms

only because of their

well developed

Add a hyphen

well-developed

show examples

technologies

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

to find

Change the verb form

finding

show examples

out new

technologies

Use synonyms

for

sports

Use synonyms

will help them to train

Change the article

the

show examples

best

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

person for their country.In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

to develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

new

technologies

Use synonyms

are

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

essentials

Fix the agreement mistake

essential

show examples

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

better

athlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

some people

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

that new

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

cannot change that much of the result because the

sports

Use synonyms

personn

Correct your spelling

person

persons

who have better physical fitness

then

Linking Words

it will definitely help them to do well.

Linking Words

Furthermore

Add a comma

Furthermore,

show examples

some of them

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

sportsmen who trust their skills more than the technology

then

Linking Words

definetly

Correct your spelling

definitely

help them to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

better

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

,a lot of

under developed

Correct your spelling

underdeveloped

show examples

countries

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as African

countries

Use synonyms

like Jamaica

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

performed so well.

To conclude

Linking Words

a lot of

sports

Use synonyms

the people who have relied on the

stratagies

Correct your spelling

strategies

and

technologies

Use synonyms

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

have a

high

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

chance

to win

Change preposition

of winning

show examples

than the other believing persons.

insighttribezTue Feb 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Focus on structuring your essay more clearly with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to enhance the logical flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs.

task achievement

Ensure you fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views and clearly stating your own opinion. Expand on your reasons with more detailed explanations and examples.

general

Work on your grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas more accurately and effectively.

task achievement

To improve clarity, be clear about your opinion from the introduction and consistently develop this throughout your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, a number of people believe that even when they are older, they can carry out work if it is available. From my perspective, I totally agree that elderly people can continue working if they have the ability.
6.5
band
While choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
It is undoubtedly that the salary plays an essential role in an employee's life as it provides financial stability. Hence, it is argued that high income should be prioritised by those who are looking for a new job. I fully agree with this statement, and this essay will explain why.
7
band
A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Given the power and influence of the super-rich, it might seem as if social status and material possessions are the new symbols of personal worth, but in everyday life, I do not think this is true.
5
band
## 문제 Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion. (2)
Some would say that trying unfamiliar things has a variety of benefits, while others insist that doing new things follows risks. This essay agrees with the latter, despite the former can learn many insights and conveniences through new experiences, doing the same things gives stability to individuals’ lives.
6
band
For the past year you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to end your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter: state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this give details of how you have benefited from the club explain why you want to leave
I am writing to terminate my membership at the club. My name is Pramod, and I have been a member of this club for past 2 years. My membership card number is 252151.

In order to become a successful sportsperson,some people argue that you need to have access to the latest technology and the most up-to-date euipment.Other people believe that these things are not necessary for sporting success. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

While choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

## 문제 Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion. (2)