Some people hold that we should spend the amount of time and money on the protection of wild animals. Some people argue that they should be spent on human populations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #amount #time #money #protection #animals #populations

Many people argue that the government should spend more money and time on the

proctection

Correct your spelling

protection

of wild animals or on human populations.In my

prespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

, everything has its pros and cons,and we need to delve into both sides before forming any opinions.

To begin

with,human being is far superior

that

Change preposition

show examples

animals.

Therefore

man kinds

Correct your spelling

mankind

show examples

always protect their own species first.Many believe that the money should allocated to healthcare systems, research and education because it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

to improve the

socities

Correct your spelling

society

towards

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

future.

For example

,cancer has not

cured

Add a missing verb

been cured

show examples

although

many

scientiests

Correct your spelling

scientists

spend

Wrong verb form

have spent

show examples

decade

Fix the agreement mistake

decades

show examples

finding

cure

Add an article

a cure

show examples

for that.

As a result

,the public

demand

Wrong verb form

demanded

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more money to help the

reseacher

Correct your spelling

researcher

On the other hand

, animals are important

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to maintain equilibrium between human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

and ecosystems.

For example

,if whaling activities still

continuesly

Correct your spelling

continue

active,

this

will

altered

Change the verb form

alter

show examples

our oceans forever,negatively impacting the fish stocks

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show examples

those mainly

depand

Correct your spelling

dependent

on living.

Furthermore

,habitat destruction

also

can

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to climate change

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

a negative impact on human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

. In conclusion,both

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

and mammals

depand

Correct your spelling

depend

on each other to maintain a

balance

Change the verb form

balanced

show examples

ecosystem.I believe that it is reasonable to allocate the resources in balance to

benefits

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

both the balance human and other species.

Submitted by tifjong on Tue Feb 13 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a clear position throughout the essay, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. Avoid ambiguity in your stance on the topic.

task achievement

Develop and expand upon your ideas more thoroughly, using detailed examples to support your arguments. Specific and relevant instances can greatly improve your essay's impact and clarity.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical organization of your essay. Use paragraphs effectively to distinguish between different ideas or arguments, ensuring each paragraph contains one clear main idea with supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Review and correct grammatical errors and inconsistencies in spelling and punctuation. Proper usage enhances the clarity and professionalism of your essay.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, use a wider range of linking words to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

190 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
endangered species
ecological balance
habitat destruction
climate change
intervention
ethical responsibility
natural heritage
pressing need
poverty
health crises
education
eco-tourism
sustainable agriculture
awareness
conservation efforts

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Hope you are doing well.

Some people hold that we should spend the amount of time and money on the protection of wild animals. Some people argue that they should be spent on human populations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

the exposure of international media such as films tv and magazines has impacts on local culture. what do you think of the impacts have been? Do you agree the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.