Some people believe that starting school at early age is very benificial for children while others believe that children must stay home an attend school at the age of seven. In your opinion,what are the advantages of attending school before the age of seven.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern society,young
children
Use synonyms
should go to
school
Use synonyms
for accepted knowledge.
Howewer
Correct your spelling
However
,there is an argument regarding
this
Linking Words
topic.
While
Linking Words
some people believe that starting
school
Use synonyms
at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
Use synonyms
is very
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for them
develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
show examples
their social skills,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
parts believe that
children
Use synonyms
must stay home
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
attend
school
Use synonyms
at the
age
Use synonyms
of seven.With these viewpoints,both opinions
andy
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
will be discussed
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
essay.
To begin
Linking Words
with,a number of people argue that starting
school
Use synonyms
early
age
Use synonyms
is
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for social skills.
This
Linking Words
perspective can be based on human psychosocial development.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
children
Use synonyms
until six or seven
age
Use synonyms
should spend time with
family
Add an article
a family
the family
show examples
circle,friends,
Correct word choice
and kindegarten
show examples
kindegarten
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
.If
children
Use synonyms
would be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
start
school
Use synonyms
at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
come across some problems.
Such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
mental or moral stress
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
tired same job and a number of parents worry about their behavior.
Children
Use synonyms
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
busy with educational homework.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,all parents
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
responsibile
Correct your spelling
responsible
for
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
life and their important education.They should learn infantʼs
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
and
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
which are listening
music
Change preposition
to music
show examples
,
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
or clear speaking .
Howewer
Correct your spelling
However
some
children
Use synonyms
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
not need to
forced
Add a missing verb
be forced
show examples
at an early
age
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,in my opinion,we should give a chance them to live
free
Replace the word
freely
show examples
during their childhood.Believe that
children
Use synonyms
must stay home
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
attend
school
Use synonyms
at the
age
Use synonyms
of seven.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To strengthen your essay, begin by ensuring a stronger stance or opinion in your introduction. This statement will guide the reader and set a clear direction for your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve clarity and cohesion, aim for more precise connections between ideas. Use transitional phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'On the contrary,' or 'As a result' to link sentences and paragraphs seamlessly.
Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, aim to include more specific examples or personal anecdotes to support your arguments. This will add depth and interest to your essay, making your points more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
To avoid repetition and enhance vocabulary diversity, try integrating synonyms or alternative expressions. This will enrich the text and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: