Some parents believe that reading books for entertainment is a waste of children’s time. They think that their children should read only serious educational books. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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Some people assert that reading

books

Use synonyms

for

entertainment

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is a waste of

children’s

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time,

whereas

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many others argue that these

books

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can help them relax and occupy their minds.

This

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essay will discuss both views

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

I will provide my own opinion. To start with, I would like to talk about the first given opinion that

entertainment

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books

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only waste

children’s

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time

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they should read only educational content. I think that the main question that parents ask is “Why read something for fun when you can read and learn?”

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apply

show examples

And

that is

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true because

books

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such

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as encyclopedias, atlases or

made for children

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made-for-children

history stories are more beneficial for kids’

evolvement

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development

, brain work and building their worldview.

Grownups

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Grown-ups

can often believe that

entertainment

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literature influences

children’s

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bad habits or affects their mental health and even mood swings. I partially agree with these statements because

that is

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actually proven by scientists and in more cases truly reflects on children, but I still believe that it is important to read various

books

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to broaden

children’s

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horizons.

However

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, there are many opposite minds stating that

entertainment

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books

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have a positive impact on kids. More specifically, people believe that these easy-going

books

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help build and preserve

children’s

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imagination and creativity. Stories about

fantasized

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fantasised

show examples

characters, mythical creatures or animals

keeps

Correct subject-verb agreement

keep

show examples

the kids busy and entertained.

Consequently

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this

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leads to a

longer lasting

Correct your spelling

longer-lasting

childhood and a feeling of freedom.

As well as

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apply

show examples

teaches important life lessons using

made up

Correct your spelling

made-up

character traits and situations. I agree with these ideas because kids need to free their imagination to stay childish and themselves.

To sum up

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, having considered both views,

books

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for

entertainment

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have a lot less serious impact on

children’s

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behaviour than the educational ones, which improve their brain and

every day

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everyday

life, even though the fun ones help them stay creative and open-minded.

oimigle

Feb 13, 2024

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task response

Make your main opinion more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.

task response

Answer both sides in a more even way. The second side is clearer than the first side.

task response

Add one or two clear real examples to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Use simpler and more direct topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Some linking parts are not natural, like 'As well as' and 'Consequently' in that place. Use easy links like 'Also', 'For example', 'On the other hand'.

coherence and cohesion

A few ideas need better explanation, such as the part about bad habits and mood swings.

task response

You discuss both views and give your opinion, so you answer the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Most ideas stay on topic and are easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

limited time
focus on study
school subjects
serious books
educational value
good grades
strong future
direct knowledge
reading habit
new words
language skills
clear ideas
grow the mind
understand feelings
love of reading
a balanced view
both kinds of books
school success
creative thinking
use time well

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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!