IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
What
students
 should
study
 in a university has been a long debate among people. Many people believe that
students
 should devote themselves to gathering
knowledge
 apart from major
subjects
,
while
 others believe that
students
 should concentrate on major
subjects
 to become qualified. In my opinion, I mostly support that it is important to
study
 as much as possible by keeping perfect major subject
knowledge
. On the one hand, by studying additional
subjects
 a
student
 can enrich his
knowledge
, which is very important in
this
 competitive world.
Furthermore
, information on other
subjects
 makes a
student
 think outside of the box, which is always helpful for society and human beings.
Moreover
, if a
student
 remains busy acquiring
knowledge
,
then
 it is easy for him to keep himself away from bad activities.
Finally
, it is not possible to get a good Job only by depending on a major subject.
For instance
, presently all the job interviews keep a particulars marking portion for IQ questions.
On the other hand
, there are multiple reasons why people argue that
students
 should be more attentive to
study
 more and more
Firstly
, paying attention to studying makes a
student
 specialized, which is mostly important for technical jobs like doctors, engineers etc.
For instance
, mechanical engineers should have an in-depth idea of the engineering field, which may lead to good innovation.
Secondly
, concentration on so many things does not bring good results always, rather sometimes it makes a
student
 puzzle and becomes less confident.
To conclude
, putting the main
study
 as the top Priority list
students
also
 should find other resources, where they can gain information so that they can enhance their depth of
knowledge
.
Submitted by ashraftaukir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader. Your position should be clear from the onset.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Examples make your writing more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetitiveness. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the idea, and ensure all subsequent sentences support that idea.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: