IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advise In your letter: • explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday. •describe some possible disadvantages. •say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #•describe #•say
Dear Sir or Madam
Hello
Add the punctuation
Hello,
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 my friend.How are you I think you are so good because I
hear
Wrong verb form
heard
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your
Change preposition
about your
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 plan
this
 summer from your sister. You will go to the camping.I guess
this
 correct decision
due to
this
 year is very
hardly
Change the word
hard
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 and
Add a missing verb
has any
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any
Correct determiner usage
no
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 problem. You should go to camping
for
Change preposition
apply
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chill out. I guess you
worth
Add a missing verb
are worth
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 it like
this
 camping holiday I guess you worth it. Considering, you always hard work on your job.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 you have
focus
Fix the infinitive
to focus
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 on your job.
However
, lots of
capming
Correct your spelling
camping
calming
 have our country
isn't
Correct pronoun usage
isn't it
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 ? Exactly, I think the
camp
 you are going to is very bad. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 one year I went to
this
camping
Replace the word
camp
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 and I am very
regret
Replace the word
regretful
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 and
And
Correct word choice
apply
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I was never going to
this
camp
. As long as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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this
camp
have
Change the verb form
has
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lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of rat
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
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.
Then
this
 cause made you feel uncomfortable and
annoying
Replace the word
annoyed
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. I trying as possible go to my house. Because I didn't
bearing
Change the verb form
bear
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 on
camp
's atmosphere. I am very
wanted
Add the particle
wanted to
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 go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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camping with you But you don't go
the
Change preposition
to the
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camp
 I want. So maybe next year
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will go to the
camp
 with you,if you want it. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 you have
change
Change the verb form
changed
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 your decision for
this
camp
. And you have more opportunities for any camps. But it is your opinion
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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 mine, if you
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
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 it. No problems ! Yours faithfully Jacob
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Structure
Improve the structure of your letter by using clear paragraphs for different ideas: introduction, the main reasons for recommending or not recommending the camping, and your final decision or suggestion.
Tone & Register
Use appropriate salutations and closings for an informal letter. For a friend, 'Dear Sir or Madam' is too formal. Consider starting with 'Dear [Friend's Name],' and ending with 'Best regards' or 'Yours sincerely, [Your Name].
Development
Your ideas need to be clearer and more developed. Explain why you believe camping would be enjoyable for your friend, stating both pros and cons clearly, and make a definite suggestion about going together.
Grammar & Spelling
Work on grammar, punctuation, and spelling to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Erratic sentence structure and errors can distract readers from your message.
Connectivity
To increase coherence, use transitional phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will make your letter easier to follow and understand.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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