In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they study at school hard enough. What are the advanatages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Nowadays, when our society is in the stage of rapid transformation, some cultures have completely different approaches to raising children by encouraging them to
study
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hard in order to achieve their goals.It is agreed,that the main advantage of
this
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tendency is that children have a strong desire to be aware of different fields of
study
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;
however
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, it can contribute to disappointment in future.
This
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essay,
firstly
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,will discuss what positive developments
this
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issue has
,
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apply
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followed by an analysis of negative consequences,before coming to a reasoned conclusion.
To begin
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with, it is an advanced approach ,when parents stimulate their kids to
study
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hard,
due to
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humanity's progress ,which requires an educated future generation. Undoubdfully, there will be higher chances of finding a high-paid work position,if you
study
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hard during school.
Moreover
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, the possibility to achieve anything in life is not impossible ,because only hard-working person can provide their life with benefits,
such
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as a good car, a comfortable house or new gadgets to name a few.
In addition
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, each university or college requires high marks before accepting students.
For example
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, if an undergraduate program has a limited number of students allowed,
then
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successful pupils will get priority.
On the other hand
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,
this
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issue can have an adverse impact on
child's
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a child's
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self-confidence.
For instance
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, if someone received a failure after a hard
working
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work
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process , it would be a huge disappointment to discover that they were not good enough.
Furthermore
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, kids
due to
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their naivety can lose belief in their strengths, as soon as they have a negative result.
Nevertheless
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, regardless of school achievements, future opportunities can appear to be not
such
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prosperous as they were supposed to be.
For example
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, not only
your
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do your
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school grades influence the possibility of receiving a diploma at university, but
also
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your financial status does.
To conclude
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,
this
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essay supports the idea that
this
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approach has two points of view,
however
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, only rapid attempts can lead to positive results,
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therefore
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and therefore
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, advantages overwhelm disadvantages.
Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on

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Task Achievement
Be concise and specific in your introduction and conclusion to ensure a clear understanding of your viewpoint and summarization of your arguments. Avoid broad statements without elaboration.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive. Try to include statistics, studies, or real-life examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more diverse linking phrases and topic sentences to improve the flow and clarity of your essay. This will help your readers follow your argument more easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and vary your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your writing more dynamic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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