Write a complete essay to answer the following question and finish your writing at the end of the class. In some developing countries, disabled people are not given proper access to public and private facilities. What are some possible effects of this problem and solutions to it?
The members of society , who are handicapped , have faced challenges in order to reach any public and private amenities in
under
developed Change preposition
apply
nation
.It promotes inequality among the individuals in the community.The most concrete solutions to Fix the agreement mistake
nations
this
issue are providing excellent infrastructure of buildings and allocating provisions individually to disabled masses and they should be funded by governments.
One of the main effects is handicapped population experience racism since amenities such
as hospitals and banks do not provide good infrastructure .There many disabled masses came into the parking problem because their parking is not separate .As a result
, they have to wait for long hours.Additionally
, disabled
Correct article usage
the disabled
community
have to stand in long queues at railway stationsFix the agreement mistake
communities
,
and hospitals.Remove the comma
apply
For example
, in rural areas , handicapped
public Add an article
the handicapped
have
to wait for a long time in a hospital at a reception desk.Change the verb form
has
Hence
, it causes trouble in their physical condition.
The most effective solution is to give out the correct facilities in public and private buildings.To begin
with, if the
disabled individuals will get separate parking in any institute, it will be easier for them . Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, handicapped people must be given a reserved seat whenever they commute from one place to another in public transport.Furthermore
, most disabled persons come from under the poverty line.High authorities must provide financial support to them.Hence
, they will not face any issues.
In conclusion, although
there are some effects that will be created if disabled people do not get the right provisions such
as discrimination and physical suffering, they will be sorted out by providing good facilities to handicapped persons as well and they must be funded by the government.Submitted by sarfaraz.zain619 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss. Your introduction lacks a thesis statement that bridges the issue with its outcomes and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more structured logical flow in your essay. Your paragraphs should transition smoothly from one idea to the next. Utilize linking words more effectively to create a cohesive argument.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific and detailed examples. This will help to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing. General statements should be substantiated with concrete instances.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that you discuss both the potential effects and solutions in detail. Your essay should provide a balanced examination of both sides of the question.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Avoid repetition of words and phrases, and strive for a more formal and academic tone. Vary your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate a range of language.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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