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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is this a case? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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In today's digital age, it is widely believed that formal
qualifications
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 and diplomas are more appreciated in the
job
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 market than work and life experience,
as well as
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 personal qualities.
This
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 is
due to
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 the substitution of values and a high level of competition.
This
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 essay presents my own opinion on
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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, there is an increasing number of illiterate people who tend to think that academic
qualifications
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 are worth more than any other knowledge or achievement.
Therefore
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, the modern community needs just robotic workers and directors of companies do not really care about their workers' concerns.
Nevertheless
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, sometimes it is actually true but only works in some cases when a candidate wants to find a
job
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 in a specific science-related field.
However
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, it still does not spread to every other
job
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.
For example
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, Kazakhstan's employers solely rely on a candidate's academic knowledge
while
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 not enough attention is paid to his personal
skills
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 because education plays the role of a middleman which guarantees that a certain person is truly responsible and suitable for
this
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job
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,
while
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 the ones without a diploma have to suffer
due to
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this
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 issue.
Moreover
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, there is
also
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 a high level of competition that
also
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 leads to the unemployment of many workers. To explain, contemporary employers tend to hire people who have
both
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 academic and personal qualities and they do not need anyone with these capabilities separately simply because there is an abundance of people who have these
skills
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 separately.
That is
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 why
both
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 students with academic
qualifications
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 and the ones with life experience suffer since they simply can not find a
job
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.
For instance
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, recent research showed that companies expect candidates to have
both
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 of these
skills
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 but they just even have not lived enough to obtain them. In conclusion, I agree that some employers think that academic
qualifications
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 are better than life experience or characteristics but not completely since they are more likely to hire a person who has
both
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skills
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.

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relevant specific examples
Make sure to expand on your ideas with more specific examples and detailed arguments. While Kazakhstan was mentioned as an example, try to incorporate a diverse range of examples to illustrate your points more vividly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure to maintain more consistent tone and clarity throughout the essay. Though the ideas are there, strengthening the linkage within paragraphs can enhance the overall readability.
logical structure
Your essay contains a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This adds clarity and helps in guiding the reader through your arguments.
complete response
You have aptly addressed the question, explaining why some employers might value formal qualifications over life experience or personal qualities.
introduction conclusion present
You addressed all parts of the prompt effectively, providing your own perspective, which shows your engagement with the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standardized measure
  • specialized knowledge
  • technical skills
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • recruitment process
  • interpersonal skills
  • adaptability
  • practical knowledge
  • communication skills
  • leadership
  • teamwork
  • diversity in thought
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