Unpaid work More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses for communities in poorer countries. Why do young people choose to do so? Who will benefit more: young people or the communities?
It is ubiquitous that
youngsters
from highly developed countries
mostly like to visit underdeveloped countries
as volunteers
to do charity work. In this
essay, the writers offer the benefit of the donations.
As for the current trends
of going to poorer Fix the agreement mistake
trend
countries
, the main reason for the
teenagers Correct article usage
apply
are
Verb problem
apply
due to
looking
for new experiences. Not only for Wrong verb form
look
experience
Add an article
the experience
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the empathy of the young generation is rising in recent days to make a movement. The great impact of the charity program has shown up to the youngsters
to gain a better life and equality for all the
Correct article usage
apply
people
. In addition
, the most valuable impact for the
underdeveloped Correct article usage
apply
countries
are
getting higher education and knowledge Change the verb form
is
by
the Change preposition
from
volunteers
. For instance
, UNICEF
association held internships for Correct article usage
the UNICEF
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
going to the countryside as volunteers
to educate poor children in the city in advance to help with sanitation.
Turning to the advantage of unpaid work, both the community and youngsters
have a significant impact. The young generation in the productive age spend
a great time in a charity program will Wrong verb form
spending
give
more experience in the CV and gain more knowledge about how the poorer Verb problem
gain
countries
survived. However
, a huge number of people
are joining the community by looking at the movement by the youngsters
. The development of donation
and the rebuilding of Fix the agreement mistake
donations
the
underprivileged children are getting higher. Correct article usage
apply
According to
the statistical data by the Ministry of Health and Education in Africa in 2019, the
Correct article usage
apply
volunteers
from various communities are joining to build the
water Correct article usage
apply
source
for some underdeveloped Fix the agreement mistake
sources
countries
in Africa.
To conclude
, the trend of being volunteers
by the
Correct article usage
apply
youngsters
gave a massive advantage for people
in the countryside, while
the world association
should support the program to reach better.Correct your spelling
World Association
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coherence cohesion
It is important to ensure the essay has a more logical structure. You could start by clearly structuring your paragraphs, focusing each on a distinct main idea and providing supporting details or examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but could be improved. Try to make your thesis statement clearer in the introduction and more closely summarize the main points in your conclusion to strongly impact the reader.
coherence cohesion
While you have supported your main points, the supporting details could be clearer and more direct. Try to explicitly link your evidence and examples to your main points to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. It seems some aspects were not fully developed, such as the specific reasons behind youths' decisions and a deeper comparison of benefits to communities and young people.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Be precise in your language and ensure each paragraph logically supports your thesis with clear, straightforward ideas.
task achievement
Make use of more relevant and specific examples to support your points. While you mention some examples, they could be more detailed and directly related to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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