IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that city planner should consider creating more green spaces and planting trees, while others argue that they should focus on building new homes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
I will argue that
city
Use synonyms
planner
Fix the agreement mistake
planners
show examples
 should focus on building new
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. I think we must focus on creating more green
space
Use synonyms
 to plant trees.
Body paragraph 1
fristly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, we must
considering
Change the verb form
consider
be considering
show examples
 the
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
our
city
Use synonyms
 that way creating more
gereen
Correct your spelling
green
space
Use synonyms
 and planting
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
 is the
beter choise
Correct your spelling
better choice
 than building new homes. when planting
Add an article
a tree
show examples
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
 in our
city
Use synonyms
 that can absorb
polutan
Correct your spelling
pollutants
pollutant
pollution
 from the air like carbon
dioxside
Correct your spelling
dioxide
 and produce
oxigen
Correct your spelling
oxygen
 which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
we need
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for
breate
Correct your spelling
breathe
breath
. if we use the
land
Use synonyms
 to build new
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reducing the
land
Use synonyms
 for the
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
 means we reducing our fresh air.
Body paragraph 2
in addition
Linking Words
,
wee
Correct your spelling
we
show examples
 need the green
space
Use synonyms
 as a
comunal
Correct your spelling
communal
space
Use synonyms
 to interact with
other
Change the wording
another citizen
other citizens
show examples
citizen
Use synonyms
. the
lesser
Correct your spelling
less
show examples
 green
space
Use synonyms
 can make the
Use synonyms
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
individual
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 because they prefer to stay at home. the
citizen
Use synonyms
 with individual
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 isn't good for the environment because
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 don't care about
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. if that
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 a lot of crime
happen
Fix the infinitive
to happen
show examples
 in that
city
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
furthermore
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
relaize
Correct your spelling
realise
 if
people
Use synonyms
 need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
acomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
 as
basic
Add an article
a basic
show examples
 need, but rather than
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer to
make
Verb problem
build
show examples
 a flat. a flat can
acomodating
Correct your spelling
accommodating
 residence for a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 with
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
land
Use synonyms
. so we can provide the
Use synonyms
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 needs about acomidation with a good
environmen
Correct your spelling
environment
 because have more green
space
Use synonyms
 and trees.
Conclusion
finally
Linking Words
, to make
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
 planner we should
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 about what
citizen
Use synonyms
 needs and make a good
environmen
Correct your spelling
environment
. so to do we need to make a
ftat
Correct your spelling
flat
fat
 rather than homes, so the
land
Use synonyms
 can use to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 more green
space
Use synonyms
 to plant trees.

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task achievement
Work on structuring your introduction more clearly. Be sure to present both views before stating your opinion.
coherence & cohesion
Utilize paragraphing effectively to separate your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should represent one main idea or argument.
coherence & cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Errors can make your essay difficult to understand.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to better support your points. Show how specific examples of green spaces or flat accommodations benefit the community.
task achievement
Include a balanced discussion of both views before concluding with your opinion to fully address the task.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • green spaces
  • biodiversity
  • carbon dioxide absorption
  • aesthetic appeal
  • physical well-being
  • community engagement
  • affordable housing
  • homelessness
  • recreational areas
  • urban heat island effect
  • social isolation
  • quality of life
  • integrate
  • environmental benefits
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