IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

the table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.
#proportion #categories #families #poverty #australia
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table compares the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty
Use synonyms
 in six different types of
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 in Australia during the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1999. From the given table,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the total percentage of
Australian
Fix the agreement mistake
Australians
show examples
 in six different family types that lived in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty
Use synonyms
 was 11%, with the sole parent as the highest proportion and aged couple as the lowest. During the given period, the sole parent category (21%)
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest percentage of
family type
Replace the word
families
show examples
 that lived in
poverty
Use synonyms
. Followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
sole
Correct article usage
the sole
show examples
 parent category (21%) as the
second,
Linking Words
and the single individuals with no children (19%) as the third.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the couple with no children (7%) was one of the categories with the least proportion living in
poverty
Use synonyms
,
along with
Linking Words
 the single aged person (6%).
Lastly
Linking Words
, aged couple was the least family type that lived in
poverty
Use synonyms
, with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of only 4%.
Submitted by skripsinana8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words poverty with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • categories
  • families
  • poverty
  • single-parent
  • childcare
  • income
  • couples
  • dependents
  • older adults
  • pensions
  • unemployed
  • financial resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: