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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
A foreign
language
 must be
teaching
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
 to children in the initial kindergartens.
However
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientific support
this
attend
Verb problem
apply
show examples
whereas
 a number of education systems surround the universe
taught
Wrong verb form
that teach
show examples
 foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary schools.
Firstly
,
the teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
language
 in the primary stages of education to kids
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a lot of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
, it creates a solid construction a good foundation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
 age .
Moreover
, merely,
Correct article usage
the abilites
show examples
abilites
Correct your spelling
abilities
 of
youthful
Replace the word
youth
show examples
 are shaped in his childhood, and their brains are more flexible to learn readily.
In addition
, most experts prefer
Add the particle
to
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teach
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
 in
this
 period and more and more educational institutions go beyond
this
 direction.
On the other hand
,
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 a second
language
 in secondary school became unlikely in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. What is more, we can not
perception
Replace the word
perceive
show examples
 that
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 a teenager is
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
 processing,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
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 experience a lot of
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficulties
difficulty
difficult
.
Furthermore
,
puplis
Correct your spelling
people
 suffer a lot in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 journey education and learning take much time
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with young.
To sum up
, l totally coincide with
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 attitude. I strongly
bileve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that a child who is studying
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another
language
 in his childhood ,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will avoid challenges that may be
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 in
his
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by clearly separating it into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transitional phrases to smoothly move from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly presents your stance on the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This makes your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure complete response to the task by fully addressing both the advantages and disadvantages as specified in the prompt. Expand your discussion to cover both sides more thoroughly.
task achievement
Clarify and precisely express your ideas. Work on organizing your thoughts to make your argument more comprehensible. Use simple but effective language to convey your message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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