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Band 6.5

Air and water pollution have become serious concerns worldwide. What are the primary causes of these environmental challenges, and what steps can individuals and governments adopt to mitigate them?

#air #water #pollution #concerns #challenges #steps #individuals #governments
There is no denying the fact that there is an ongoing debate with compelling reasons about polluted air and water have become serious issues worldwide.
This
 essay will discuss what are the reasons for
this
 phenomenon,
as well as
 possible steps to avoid it.
To begin
 with, there are many reasons for air and water pollution are becoming serious concerns worldwide.
Firstly
, throwing
plastics
 might be the reason why our environment is damaged.
In other words
, the habit of throwing waste on our lands and oceans can harm nature and animals, and
as a result
, that will lead to extinction and damage our planet.
In addition
, many companies promote their products that are made of
plastics
,
as a result
, most of the aquatic life and other creatures are dying.
For example
, the
use
 of plastic bags increased dramatically,
according to
 the researchers, many animals that eat grass that contains
plastics
, are
danger
Change preposition
in danger
show examples
 of extinction. In terms of potential solutions, in order to save our world, we need to spread awareness. It is
also
 possible to say that, many people are influenced by social media, we can share our crises and take immediate action to prevent
this
 issue and mitigate the
use
 of waste.
Moreover
, the government should
put
Verb problem
pass
show examples
 strict laws to limit the
use
 of
plastics
 and other things that harm our planet.
For instance
, if the government but a fine to those people, they will stop using things to harm our ecosystem. To encapsulate the essence of everything said above, there are many factors that contribute to harming our environment,
also
 there are many solutions to
use
 to prevent
this
 phenomenon from developing,
such
 as using things like eco-friendly,
Also
 the government should punish everyone who tries to damage our world.
Submitted by deemaalkhathlan1 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that each point is logically connected to your main argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your main ideas to ensure they are fully developed and easy to understand.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly stated, which provides a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You've made a good attempt to address both the causes and solutions to the problem of air and water pollution.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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