Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Even though some might believe that the goal of gaining a graduate level or above education is merely to secure employment, others argue that the actual purpose of higher education is to utilize its benefits for social and personal improvement. I agree with the latter point of view. On the one hand, degrees serve as a ladder of career progression for most individuals as they provide specialized knowledge and training in a specific industry.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
might be true in specific companies, as inflation has soared internationally and unemployment has increased, most jobs have been filled by university graduates.
For example
Linking Words
, as my home country Pakistan continues to face economic issues most of my friends have taken up employment in areas not directly related to their degrees.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the benefits of advanced study surpass the individualistic benefits that can be derived from them and should rather benefit everyone both socially and financially.
Also
Linking Words
, to highlight
this
Linking Words
, most graduates devote their time and efforts
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
activities that are beneficial for the public. Areas which are home to renowned institutions like Yale or Harvard have produced individuals who have given back to the community. To exemplify, Silicon Valley in America not only contains some world-class universities but
also
Linking Words
has leading hospitals, schools and research centres where prime facilities are provided to all. I believe these factors outweigh the job-centric approach of most people. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there is a strong belief that investing oneself in the study and expecting a financial return might be the correct approach for some, I believe that having a philanthropic mindset not only allows us to improve in a personal capacity but
also
Linking Words
motivates us to expand the horizons of our society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on some points with more examples or details. This can make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between points in paragraphs to improve flow.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents both views and states your opinion well.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • employability
  • specialized knowledge
  • lifetime earnings
  • intellectual curiosity
  • personal growth
  • transferable skills
  • social mobility
  • cultural understanding
  • societal advancement
  • global challenges
  • diverse perspectives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: