IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

#people #films #be #governments #support #film #industries
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Some
people
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 have several reasons for watching foreign
films
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 rather than locally produced ones.
This
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 essay will explain
about
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apply
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the reasons why some
people
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 choose foreign
films
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 and the
governments regulation
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government regulations
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 to support local
film
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 production, especially
about
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regarding
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 finance. Nowadays,
the
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apply
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globalization has
impact
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an impact
the impact
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to
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on
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 entertainment platforms,
such
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 as streaming technology and foreign
film
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 exhibitions.
Consequently
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, the
film
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has
Verb problem
is
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 more accessible and cheaper.
For instance
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, In Indonesia, young
people
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 prefer to watch
movie
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movies
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 streaming
in
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at
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 their
home
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homes
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 rather than going to
cinema
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the cinema
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 because it is easier because they can change the
subtitle
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subtitles
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 of foreign
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film
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films
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 and sounds. For other reasons, some other
people
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 prefer to visit
in
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apply
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foreign
film
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 exhibitions that are interesting
view
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to view
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 when they try and watch the trailer in the exhibition.
On the other hand
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, governments which support local
film
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 is not essential. From my
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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, it depends on
film
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 genres, when governments give more money to all producers, it can be more expensive. So,
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government
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the government
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 should be more selective
to give
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in giving
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 funding for local
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film
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films
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.
For example
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, the
government
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has a
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film maker
Correct your spelling
film-maker
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 competition is a winner
who
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apply
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can get funding to release their
film
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. I believe,
when
Correct word choice
that when
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 the
government
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has
Verb problem
is
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 more selective to give funding, the quality of
film
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 has been increased and some
people
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 will watch the local movies. In conclusion, foreign
films
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 are more fascinating and cheaper because it is impacted by globalization. So, the
government
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 should be aware of local movie
qualities
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quality
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 because it can
be supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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 funding for producing
films
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer introduction and conclusion, explicitly stating the main argument or viewpoint at the beginning and summarizing key points at the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more logical structure. Consider using distinct paragraphs to discuss each main point, ensuring a smooth flow of ideas from one section to the next.
task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, ensure that each paragraph conveys a clear, comprehensive idea that directly addresses the essay prompts. This will help make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your statements. Real-world examples or statistics can make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
What to do next:
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