Nowadays people are spending more time away their homes because they spend longer in their work place. Discuss advantage and disadvantage
There is no doubt that nowadays many people are spending more time at
Use synonyms
work place
rather than their home Correct your spelling
the workplace
due to
Linking Words
a
advancement Correct article usage
the
of
Change preposition
in
the
technology.In the next paragraph,I will discuss Correct article usage
apply
on
both sides of Change preposition
apply
it
advantages and disadvantages in detail.
Change the pronoun
its
To begin
with,Linking Words
Linking Words
this
following essay will explain the advantages of Correct determiner usage
the
this
statement.First,Linking Words
this
helps an individual's career development.Linking Words
For those
who Change preposition
Those
are
dedicate more time Unnecessary verb
apply
at
their Change preposition
to
Use synonyms
work place
surely will gain more experience and job opportunities than others Correct your spelling
workplace
only
Correct pronoun usage
who only
work
as a part-timer.Use synonyms
For example
,an impressive resume Linking Words
tend
to have more promotions and good Change the verb form
tends
salary
based on Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
their
past experience.Next,Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
can enhance one's social interaction Linking Words
between
Change preposition
with
the
colleagues.Correct article usage
apply
A good
professional relationships mean good productivity and Correct the article-noun agreement
Good
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
a
value of the companies.
Correct article usage
the
In contrast
,Linking Words
an
workaholic person tends to have more health issues Change the article
a
such
as stress-related illness,obesity and others because of their sedentary lifestyles.Linking Words
For example
,individuals will never have time to rest or sleep if they Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
continuesly
and Correct your spelling
continuously
this
will Linking Words
give
a negative effect Verb problem
have
to
their Change preposition
on
body
and Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
mind
.Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Apart from
Linking Words
this
,Linking Words
healtcare
systems will rise for some Correct your spelling
healthcare
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
on handling
Change preposition
to handle
such
diseases. Linking Words
In addition
,parents who are working excessively can lead to neglection of their children and slowly will Linking Words
give
Verb problem
have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
impacts
on their relationships.Fix the agreement mistake
impact
For example
,studies show that youngsters who are being neglected by their parents or Linking Words
care giver
are usually Correct your spelling
caregiver
involving
in Wrong verb form
involved
the
crimes and drugs.
In conclusion,working is Correct article usage
apply
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
privotal
source of income for many families.Correct your spelling
pivotal
Although
Linking Words
,
there is a lot of bad impact Remove the comma
apply
to
others Change preposition
on
such
as health problems and family issues,there are Linking Words
also
Linking Words
have
good sides Unnecessary verb
apply
of
Change preposition
to
this
.Linking Words
Submitted by tifjong on
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Introduction Development
Develop a more nuanced introduction that clearly outlines the topic and your stance. A thesis statement at the end of the introduction could provide a clear roadmap for your essay.
Topic Sentences
Work on creating stronger topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. This will help readers understand the focus of each section right away.
Linking Words and Phrases
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively. This will improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
Examples and Explanations
Increase the depth of your argument by providing more detailed examples and explanations for each point you make. This will help with both task achievement and supporting your main points.
Sentence Structure
Pay close attention to punctuation and sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and ensure clarity in your writing.
Conclusion Development
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main arguments discussed and stating your personal stance clearly. This reinforces your position and provides closure.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...