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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, many people have access to computers, and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

In recent times, many individuals, particularly
children
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, have developed a strong interest in
video
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games
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.
Although
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this
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 trend offers certain advantages, I believe that it is largely detrimental to
children
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, especially in terms of their
health
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 and safety, and that its drawbacks outweigh its benefits.
This
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 issue has become more pressing as the digital era has made
video
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games
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 more accessible than ever. One clear drawback is its negative impact on both
health
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 and social development.
For instance
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, spending long hours in front of a computer screen with poor posture can lead to eye strain and even long‑term vision problems.
Moreover
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, excessive gaming often causes
children
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 to become socially withdrawn and sedentary, which may hinder the development of essential communication skills. Over time, these habits can result in feelings of isolation and may even reduce their chances of future academic or professional success. In extreme cases,
such
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 can
also
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 contribute to mental
health
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 problems
such
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 as anxiety and depression.
However
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, one significant advantage is that
video
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games
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 can enhance
children
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’s technological literacy and help them stay updated with global developments, as fields
such
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 as information technology and artificial intelligence are advancing rapidly. It is evident that in the future, technological skills will be essential for most careers, and those lacking them may struggle to find employment.
Moreover
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, online gaming can improve social interaction to some extent, as
children
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 are able to communicate and collaborate with friends in virtual environments. These online interactions may
also
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 expose them to different cultures and perspectives, slightly broadening their horizons. In conclusion,
although
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video
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games
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 provide certain benefits, I believe that their drawbacks are more significant
overall
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, as
health
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 and open‑mindedness are essential for every generation.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. You have good structure, but try to connect ideas more clearly.
task achievement
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly states your opinion.
coherence
Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive skills
  • strategic thinking
  • problem-solving
  • hand-eye coordination
  • fine motor skills
  • aggressive behavior
  • addictive qualities
  • physical activity
  • social isolation
  • interpersonal relationships
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