In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#countries #rates #crimes #people #measures

There is no denying the fact that

people

nowadays do not feel safe in some countries, even though the serious

crimes'

Change noun form

crimes

show examples

rates are declining.

This

essay will discuss the reasons behind

this

case, and suggest some techniques for societies and individuals to solve

this

problem.

To begin

with, there are many causes of feeling unsafe in some nations.

Firstly

, even though the crime proportion is decreasing,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it still

existed

Wrong verb form

exists

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

a high rate.

In other words

people

still have concerns about the current level of

crimes

, which makes them feel unsafe.

In addition

due to

the rapid technological revolution that proposed and

facilitate

Wrong verb form

facilitated

show examples

new kinds of

crimes

For example

, hacking crime, which is one of the modern topics or

crimes

, become pervasive and makes

people

fear the hacker's attackers even if they are sleeping in their homes. In terms of the possible measures to solve

this

issue, governments should impose more strict regulations. It is

also

possible to say that serious punishment for criminals is critical and significantly important to conquer serious

crimes

particularly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Moreover

, authorities should increase their

people

's awareness about the different kinds of crime,

as well as

the

new

Change the adjective

newly

show examples

invented ways of deceiving.

For instance

, in Japan, they have started teaching their students in the schools how to detect

frauds

Fix the agreement mistake

fraud

show examples

and avoid them. In conclusion, there are many reasons behind the problem of feeling less safe. It is

also

true that there are various measures that governments and individuals could follow to solve

this

issue.

Submitted by shaymaa.khalaf91 on Thu Feb 15 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the topic, but could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Consider including more detailed case studies or statistics to enhance your point.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, aim to make smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use a variety of linking phrases to create a more cohesive flow between ideas and ensure each paragraph builds upon the last.

Coherence & Cohesion

While you have provided a solid introduction and conclusion, ensuring that your main points are thoroughly supported throughout the essay is essential. Expand your arguments by citing more examples and elaborating on your ideas to make your points more compelling.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

availability heuristic
media coverage
misinformation
urbanization
community cohesion
justice system
economic inequality
community policing
media literacy
surveillance
swift justice
social cohesion
neighborhood watch
deterrent

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In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Your opinion

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single –sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some people believe that a significant difference between a parents age and their child's age is a good thing. Do you think the advantages of a significant age gap outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?