It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is worth
to take
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taking
risks
in onces Use synonyms
Use synonyms
carrier
and personal Correct your spelling
career
life
.In my conviction , Use synonyms
risks
will create new Use synonyms
carrier
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Use synonyms
oppertunities
and Correct your spelling
opportunities
life
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with out
any risky Correct your spelling
without
dicisions
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decisions
can
lead to desperation, Correct pronoun usage
that can
disapointment
andCorrect your spelling
disappointment
boaringness
in Correct your spelling
boringness
the
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apply
life
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while
some argue that it can lead to Linking Words
bankrapsy
.Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
However
, Linking Words
this
writer wholeheartedly Linking Words
believe
thatChange the verb form
believes
,
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apply
benefits
of taking dangerous Correct article usage
the benefits
moves
in Use synonyms
life
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outweight
the drawbacks and the reasons are analytically Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
presents
in Wrong verb form
presented
this
essay.
To commence with, risky Linking Words
moves
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creates
new Correct subject-verb agreement
create
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carrier
pathways Correct your spelling
career
in
to aChange preposition
apply
succesfull
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successful
life
. Use synonyms
Risks
are Use synonyms
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oppertunities
and embarking on Correct your spelling
opportunities
it
will lead once Correct pronoun usage
them
in to
a new Join the words
into
life
which has not been Use synonyms
their
for the Replace the word
there
person
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previosly
. Correct your spelling
previously
For instance
, Elon Musk sold his Linking Words
sussessful
Paypal Correct your spelling
successful
company
to Ebay to Use synonyms
starts
his new electric car Wrong verb form
start
company
Testla, and he became the Use synonyms
world
richest Change noun form
world's
person
in Use synonyms
few
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a few
years
time Change noun form
year's
years'
due to
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this
wise and risky Linking Words
dicision
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decision
decisions
of
his Change preposition
in
life
. Use synonyms
Thus
dangerous Linking Words
moves
create new pathways for Use synonyms
Use synonyms
carrier
success.
Other than that, people who are fear Correct your spelling
career
on
accepting new riskfull Change preposition
of
opertunities
can Correct your spelling
opportunities
lead to
a socially Verb problem
have
disapointed
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disappointing
life
. Use synonyms
Although
, some require the susses they are in fear to embark on the Linking Words
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oppertunities
which lead to it and they mentally suffer later on missed Correct your spelling
opportunities
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oppertunities
leading to a Correct your spelling
opportunities
disapoinment
in their lives. Correct your spelling
disappointment
For example
, my best friend had a crush but he had the fear to tell it to her and the girl became the wife of my other friend and the previous one still Linking Words
suffer
in his Wrong verb form
suffered
life
about rethinking Use synonyms
on
his failure. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, risky decisions are important for the personal Linking Words
life
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sussess
.
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success
However
, some think Linking Words
this
can lead to Linking Words
bankrapsy
. Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
Individuals'
should accept Change noun form
Individuals
risks
wisely Use synonyms
not
to lead to Correct word choice
so as not
a
failure and Correct article usage
apply
although
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this
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creat
Correct your spelling
creates
Use synonyms
oppertunities
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opportunities
person
has to correctly Use synonyms
deside
on the time and the way they accept the challenge. Correct your spelling
decide
In particular
, in Linking Words
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the Covid
Covid
era one of my Correct your spelling
COVID
friend
quit his job to start a private Change to a plural noun
friends
company
transport Use synonyms
company
and he lost his all earnings and his job. In that Use synonyms
case
if he Add a comma
case,
calcualted
the market Correct your spelling
calculated
stategies correcly
still he might lead to a Correct your spelling
strategies correctly
sucess
. Correct your spelling
success
Hence
, having a proper plan can prevent the drawbacks of Linking Words
risk talking
.
In conclusion, risky decisions Correct your spelling
risk-taking
Use synonyms
moves
Verb problem
apply
a
can lead a Correct article usage
apply
person
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in to
susses in Correct your spelling
into
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their carrier
his carrier
her carrier
carrier
and personal Correct your spelling
career
life
without creating suffering situations. As Use synonyms
such
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this
writer is of the strong notion that Linking Words
benefits
of taking Correct article usage
the benefits
riks
in personal and Correct your spelling
risks
Use synonyms
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
life
Use synonyms
outweight
the drawbacks.Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
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task achievement
One of the key areas for improvement is your spelling and grammar. Consistently misspelling words and incorrect grammar usage can significantly impact the clarity of your arguments. Consider using spell check tools and revisiting grammar rules related to verb forms and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays a logical structure, but at times the flow between paragraphs and sentences can be improved. Transition words such as 'furthermore', 'moreover', 'however', and 'thus' can help create a smoother narrative flow and link your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, both could be enhanced by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarizing your key points more succinctly in the conclusion. This reinforces your argument and makes your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Providing specific and relevant examples strengthens your argument significantly. While you mentioned examples involving Elon Musk and a personal anecdote, ensuring these examples directly support your main point is vital. Be cautious to avoid overly personal anecdotes unless they strongly contribute to illustrating your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.