It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is worth
to take
Change the verb form
taking
risks
in onces carrier
and personal Correct your spelling
career
life
.In my conviction , risks
will create new carrier
oppertunities
and Correct your spelling
opportunities
life
with out
any risky Correct your spelling
without
dicisions
Correct your spelling
decisions
can
lead to desperation, Correct pronoun usage
that can
disapointment
andCorrect your spelling
disappointment
boaringness
in Correct your spelling
boringness
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
while
some argue that it can lead to bankrapsy
.Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
However
, this
writer wholeheartedly believe
thatChange the verb form
believes
,
Remove the comma
apply
benefits
of taking dangerous Correct article usage
the benefits
moves
in life
outweight
the drawbacks and the reasons are analytically Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
presents
in Wrong verb form
presented
this
essay.
To commence with, risky moves
creates
new Correct subject-verb agreement
create
carrier
pathways Correct your spelling
career
in
to aChange preposition
apply
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
life
. Risks
are oppertunities
and embarking on Correct your spelling
opportunities
it
will lead once Correct pronoun usage
them
in to
a new Join the words
into
life
which has not been their
for the Replace the word
there
person
previosly
. Correct your spelling
previously
For instance
, Elon Musk sold his sussessful
Paypal Correct your spelling
successful
company
to Ebay to starts
his new electric car Wrong verb form
start
company
Testla, and he became the world
richest Change noun form
world's
person
in few
Correct article usage
a few
years
time Change noun form
year's
years'
due to
this
wise and risky dicision
Correct your spelling
decision
decisions
of
his Change preposition
in
life
. Thus
dangerous moves
create new pathways for carrier
success.
Other than that, people who are fear Correct your spelling
career
on
accepting new riskfull Change preposition
of
opertunities
can Correct your spelling
opportunities
lead to
a socially Verb problem
have
disapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointing
life
. Although
, some require the susses they are in fear to embark on the oppertunities
which lead to it and they mentally suffer later on missed Correct your spelling
opportunities
oppertunities
leading to a Correct your spelling
opportunities
disapoinment
in their lives. Correct your spelling
disappointment
For example
, my best friend had a crush but he had the fear to tell it to her and the girl became the wife of my other friend and the previous one still suffer
in his Wrong verb form
suffered
life
about rethinking on
his failure. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, risky decisions are important for the personal life
sussess
.
Correct your spelling
success
However
, some think this
can lead to bankrapsy
. Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
Individuals'
should accept Change noun form
Individuals
risks
wisely not
to lead to Correct word choice
so as not
a
failure and Correct article usage
apply
although
this
creat
Correct your spelling
creates
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
person
has to correctly deside
on the time and the way they accept the challenge. Correct your spelling
decide
In particular
, in Correct article usage
the Covid
Covid
era one of my Correct your spelling
COVID
friend
quit his job to start a private Change to a plural noun
friends
company
transport company
and he lost his all earnings and his job. In that case
if he Add a comma
case,
calcualted
the market Correct your spelling
calculated
stategies correcly
still he might lead to a Correct your spelling
strategies correctly
sucess
. Correct your spelling
success
Hence
, having a proper plan can prevent the drawbacks of risk talking
.
In conclusion, risky decisions Correct your spelling
risk-taking
moves
Verb problem
apply
a
can lead a Correct article usage
apply
person
in to
susses in Correct your spelling
into
Correct pronoun usage
their carrier
his carrier
her carrier
carrier
and personal Correct your spelling
career
life
without creating suffering situations. As such
this
writer is of the strong notion that benefits
of taking Correct article usage
the benefits
riks
in personal and Correct your spelling
risks
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
life
outweight
the drawbacks.Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
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task achievement
One of the key areas for improvement is your spelling and grammar. Consistently misspelling words and incorrect grammar usage can significantly impact the clarity of your arguments. Consider using spell check tools and revisiting grammar rules related to verb forms and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays a logical structure, but at times the flow between paragraphs and sentences can be improved. Transition words such as 'furthermore', 'moreover', 'however', and 'thus' can help create a smoother narrative flow and link your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, both could be enhanced by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarizing your key points more succinctly in the conclusion. This reinforces your argument and makes your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Providing specific and relevant examples strengthens your argument significantly. While you mentioned examples involving Elon Musk and a personal anecdote, ensuring these examples directly support your main point is vital. Be cautious to avoid overly personal anecdotes unless they strongly contribute to illustrating your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.