Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is an opinion asserting that nowadays
due to
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of
technology
by
children
, they are not anymore as innovative as they were before.
This
essay will explain why I fully
woleheartedly
Correct your spelling
wholeheartedly
disagree with
this
idea.
Firstly
, one positive
opportunitiy
Correct your spelling
opportunity
opportunities
that plays a vital role in
children
's creativity which
technology
has provided us is
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
and digital games.
This
is because via playing
such
games their minds are more likely to make much effort to win primary levels in order to unlock
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
ones.
In other words
, it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
them to employ their minds better and
challange
Correct your spelling
challenge
themselves by thinking of new tricks.
For example
, assuming a child doing puzzles online, at first it might be easy enough for them,
however
, after reaching high levels it gets more and more complex and challenging so that they can think of solutions which make new circuits in their mind. Considering
another advantages
Replace the adjective
another advantage
other advantages
show examples
of
technology
with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
to
children
's innovation, animation movies play a crucial role. The reason for
this
is that they provide
children
with new characters, plots,
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and graphics
show examples
graphics
Correct word choice
and graphics
show examples
, on top of it all it could be educational in some ways. To put it another way,
while
watching an animated cartoon online on the internet
such
as Netflix,
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
could be affected by new roles and characters which they have never seen before neither in real life nor in previous cartoons.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
instance, watching an animation by a child which illustrates bizarre and funny monsters not only boosts the ability of creation but
also
indicates a
fantecy
Correct your spelling
fantasy
world which probably brings about advances in their imagination. In conclusion,
although
it has been said that
technology
is a threat to
creativity
Add an article
the creativity
show examples
of
children
, I completely disagree owing to the advantages that result from playing games and watching cartoons online.
Submitted by shamim1999 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and outlines the main points you intend to discuss. You started well but could make your stance and summary of arguments clearer to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Increase the specificity and variety of your examples. While you've used relevant examples, making them more detailed and varied can strengthen your argument. Consider including real-life scenarios or statistical data to lend credibility.
Task Achievement
Work on the development of your ideas by expanding on them with more detailed explanations or evidence. This will help you to fully respond to the task and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. You've done well in structuring your arguments; however, utilizing transitional phrases more effectively can enhance the flow between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to minor errors in spelling and grammar, as these can distract from the overall coherence of your essay. Regular practice and proofreading can help minimize these errors.
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