Parents should take courses in parenting in order to improve the lives of their children. To what extent do you agree?

#parents #courses #lives #children

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These days, taking parenting

Use synonyms

course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

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for

parents

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is crucial for the lives of their

children

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. Some

parents

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who are busy with their work sometimes do not pay attention

toward

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this

Linking Words

kind of thing. Meanwhile, I am certain that

this

Linking Words

course

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will make them

Unnecessary verb

apply

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better

parents

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in treating their

children

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. Looking at what

happen

Wrong verb form

has happened

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in parenting

activity

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activities

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recently, many

children

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Change preposition

show examples

very young

age

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ages

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cannot get rid of their habit

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show examples

playing

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gadgets

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with gadgets

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such

Linking Words

smartphone

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smartphones

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. Many

parents

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who are busy with their

works

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work

show examples

are lazy to deal with their

children

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. As

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

proof, when their

children

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are crying (usually it is because they want attention), their

parents

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will give them their

phone

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phones

show examples

to make them stop crying. Because of

this

Linking Words

, kids become addicted to

gadgets

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due to

Linking Words

the existence of

gadgets

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they do not feel lonely.

This

Linking Words

will

give

Verb problem

have

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bad

Correct article usage

a bad

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impact

toward

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show examples

them since they do not interact much with their surroundings. They even do not care anymore about their

parents

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owing to having many friends

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show examples

social media whether they do not know those people have bad intentions toward them or not.

However

Linking Words

, if

parents

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nowadays take parenting

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course

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courses

show examples

, they can make better lives for their

children

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. I know that in

this

Linking Words

era

technology

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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spreading everywhere, and we cannot live without

technology

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. Yet, in parenting

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Fix the agreement mistake

courses

show examples

course

Add a comma

course,

show examples

parents

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will be taught how to use

technology

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wisely.

For instance

Linking Words

, they will be taught how they should act when their

children

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are sulking because they are not allowed to use

gadgets

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Hence

Linking Words

, if

parents

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do not want their

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children

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children's

show examples

lives

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

ruined by

technology

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, it is better for them to take parenting

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course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

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instead

Linking Words

of blaming

technology

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development which

influence

Change the verb form

influences

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their

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

behaviour.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Feb 15 2024

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task response

Ensure a clear and succinct introduction that presents your stance on the topic directly. This sets the stage for the rest of your essay.

task response

Further develop your conclusion by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion. This ensures a clear completion of your argumentation.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay and make your points clearer to the reader.

task response

Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This could include statistics, research findings, or more detailed scenarios that illustrate your points effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Pay more attention to paragraphing—each paragraph should deal with one specific point. This helps with the logical organization of your ideas and enhances the readability of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Parents should take courses in parenting in order to improve the lives of their children. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some jobs are based at a single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours. Discuss the advantages of both types of job and give your own opinion about which one is best.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages of this issue outweigh advanages of it.

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want? Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?