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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, many children play computer games. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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These days, technologies are often used by young generations. Addiction to computers and
video
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games
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 is increasing significantly, causing critical problems in the social development of
children
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.
This
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 essay will discuss some issues associated with
this
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 pattern and tackle possible solutions. Social development is
one
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 essential area
that is
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 straight in the early years. The interaction and building of relationships are fundamental in the communication and emotional process of
children
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.
This
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 evolutive process is being affected by the excessive use of
video
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games
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.
As a result
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,
children
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 in preschool age are affecting their posture, attention periods, and social areas,
due to
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 addiction to screen and technological devices.
Additionally
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, the motivation to attend school is being affected, since they prefer to spend a long number of hours playing
video
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games
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 and not exploring the environment as normal
children
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 of that age.
For instance
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, preschool teachers have identified that after
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic,
children
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 spent a lot of time at home, possibly playing
video
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games
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 or watching TV, and their attention periods decreased, affecting relations with their peers. There are some possible solutions to address
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, parents are vital in the education of
children
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. They need to create rules and keep clear expectations
according to
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 the excessive use of technological dispositive. Timetables are
one
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 strategy to invite
children
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 to keep
one
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 routine order, which explains different activities and times during the day.
This
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 will invite the young generation to prioritize responsibilities and achieve goals according
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
evolutary
Correct your spelling
evolutionary
 age of
children
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.
For example
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, parents can provide
video
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 game time as a prize for finishing
one
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 responsibility. In conclusion, the excessive use of technological devices is causing crucial problems in the social development of
children
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.
Due to
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this
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, parents play an important role in the creation of limits and rules to minimize the time spent on
this
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 activity.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea (for instance, devote one paragraph to 'posture and attention' and another to 'motivation to attend school'). This helps strengthen the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence. For instance, refer to specific studies or expert opinions on the impact of video games on children's development.
coherence cohesion
The essay’s introduction clearly outlines the issue and what the essay will discuss, which helps set the stage for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a logical progression of ideas and contains a conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the problems and potential solutions related to children playing computer games, showing that the writer has considered different aspects of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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