Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

in
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apply
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the
world
, some people believe students in university have to focus on individual skills,
on the other hand
, say they must work hard to make up
the
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apply
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strange characters now I try to discuss two
thinks
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
, and
then
get my ideas.
firstly
, education is a crucial part of
life
for every person.
and
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apply
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actually, one goal of education is to promote individual skills
for
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to
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help
community
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the community
show examples
,
such
as students speaking very well or
an
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having an
show examples
account for their pay account. addition,they can be beneficial to society
for instance
they get a job and don'
t
like
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like to
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deny. meanwhile, when a person attends to get a good
positon
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position
show examples
or condition in his job ,it
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is like
show examples
like
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likes
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to get a food
wearthly
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earthly
wealthy
and rise in his
life
,
due to
he
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the
show examples
think
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thinks
show examples
, if
i
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I
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study hard
i
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I
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would
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will
show examples
get good
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
in education and
i
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I
show examples
should have a good
life
and extraordinary house and car. so we have been seeing many people in
world
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the world
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that start up around zero and they can increase in their
life
such
as Elan Mask .in all the
world
student
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students
show examples
start studying
for
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to
show examples
get a good
life
and it
important
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is important
show examples
for society.
concude
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conclude
,
i
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I
show examples
think both
of
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apply
show examples
thinks
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things
show examples
are true. maybe they complete them.we can'
t
imagine a community
that
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where
show examples
student
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students
show examples
don'
t
help
socity
Correct your spelling
society
because
it's fail
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it fails
show examples
world
or a community
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
don'
t
like to promote and get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
knowledge to improve.
Submitted by poriamol on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Provide a clear introduction stating the essay's objective and scope, covering both views mentioned, and your stance.
Paragraph Structure
Use paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. Begin with a topic sentence that introduces the point you'll discuss in that paragraph.
Logical Flow & Coherence
Ensure your essay has a logical flow by connecting ideas clearly and using transition words or phrases to move from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
Address the essay topic fully by discussing both views presented in the prompt, providing relevant examples for each, and clearly stating your own opinion.
Clarity & Comprehensiveness
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by providing detailed examples and explanations for each point you make. Avoid vague statements.
Use of Examples
Use specific examples to support your main points. This could include citing studies, historical events, or hypothetical scenarios that relate directly to the points you're making.
Language Accuracy
Check for and correct any spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors to improve the readability of your essay. Consider using tools or seeking feedback to identify errors you might overlook.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preparation
  • beneficial
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • civic responsibility
  • active participation
  • social initiatives
  • societal issues
  • solutions
  • specialized professions
  • personal growth
  • self-fulfillment
  • passions
  • interests
  • potential
  • talents
  • job prospects
  • financial stability
  • balance
  • meaningful
  • foundation
  • emphasis
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