Many government think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
competitive
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
the majority of authorities think that economic development is their priority aim.
And some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
individuals believe that certain types of evolving are vitally important
such
Linking Words
as education and traffic management.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
my standpoint, I strongly think that the
country
Use synonyms
's schooling revolution and transport administration
is samely
Verb problem
are
show examples
necessary to achieve the nation’s goal rather than just setting economic
progress
Use synonyms
as a sole target. On the one hand, the reason that governments think economic
progress
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as trading and manufacturing industry
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
is that it can bring
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
abundance of benefits and can grow the
country
Use synonyms
’s gross domestic products and gross national products.
For example
Linking Words
, economic advancement can boost a
country
Use synonyms
's credit, image and financial investment from wealthy states.
Moreover
Linking Words
, through these monetary
investion
Correct your spelling
investments
government can expand the nation’s businesses
such
Linking Words
as tourism and entertainment industries. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these kinds of fields can promote a
country
Use synonyms
’s popularity
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
can contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the citizens think that educational and transportation
progress
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
significant as well. Due, the
country
Use synonyms
’s development is connected with the education level of people.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Change preposition
to revolution
show examples
revolution
Replace the word
revolutionise
show examples
the nation’s growth,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educated folks need to lead and scheme the development plan wisely. To
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
it government need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional people in each field
such
Linking Words
as
technician
Fix the agreement mistake
technicians
show examples
to develop technology,
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
for professors,
medical
Correct word choice
and medical
show examples
for doctors.
Additionally
Linking Words
, transport
maintaining is
Wrong verb form
maintenance
show examples
also
Linking Words
can lead the states
got
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
the profit from trading tax collecting can grow the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
. In conclusion, developing the
country
Use synonyms
has a lot of factors. The government can just rely on economic
progress
Use synonyms
. Since the other sectors mentioned above are equally important for the
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen the relevance and specificity of your examples, making your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance the logical structure and coherence of your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider rephrasing and refining your introduction and conclusion for greater impact. A strong opening and closing statement can significantly enhance the overall presentation of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • socio-economic development
  • quality of life
  • stakeholder
  • sustainable development
  • public sector
  • non-governmental organization (NGO)
  • civic engagement
  • green technology
  • quality of education
  • universal healthcare
  • cultural integrity
  • global competitiveness
  • human capital
  • innovation ecosystem
What to do next:
Look at other essays: