Many government think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
competitive world
the majority of authorities think that economic development is their priority aim. Add a comma
world,
And some
individuals believe that certain types of evolving are vitally important Correct word choice
Some
such
as education and traffic management. In
my standpoint, I strongly think that the Change preposition
From
country
's schooling revolution and transport administration is samely
necessary to achieve the nation’s goal rather than just setting economic Verb problem
are
progress
as a sole target.
On the one hand, the reason that governments think economic progress
such
as trading and manufacturing industry developing
is that it can bring Replace the word
development
the
abundance of benefits and can grow the Correct article usage
an
country
’s gross domestic products and gross national products. For example
, economic advancement can boost a country
's credit, image and financial investment from wealthy states. Moreover
, through these monetary investion
government can expand the nation’s businesses Correct your spelling
investments
such
as tourism and entertainment industries. Since,
these kinds of fields can promote a Remove the comma
apply
country
’s popularity then
can contribute to Correct your spelling
they
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, the citizens think that educational and transportation progress
are
significant as well. Due, the Change the verb form
is
country
’s development is connected with the education level of people. For instance
, Change preposition
to revolution
revolution
the nation’s growth, Replace the word
revolutionise
the
educated folks need to lead and scheme the development plan wisely. To Correct article usage
apply
made
it government need Wrong verb form
make
the
professional people in each field Correct article usage
apply
such
as technician
to develop technology, Fix the agreement mistake
technicians
academic
for professors, Fix the agreement mistake
academics
medical
for doctors. Correct word choice
and medical
Additionally
, transport maintaining is
Wrong verb form
maintenance
also
can lead the states got
the profit from trading tax collecting can grow the Change the verb form
to get
country
Change noun form
country's
financial
.
In conclusion, developing the Replace the word
finances
country
has a lot of factors. The government can just rely on economic progress
. Since the other sectors mentioned above are equally important for the country
.Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on
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Task Achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen the relevance and specificity of your examples, making your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider rephrasing and refining your introduction and conclusion for greater impact. A strong opening and closing statement can significantly enhance the overall presentation of your essay.